Birth order has a very strong impact on a child's emotional, behavioral and personality development. The place we have in the family affects us throughout our lives. The order between siblings has its own advantages and disadvantages.
First Child / Eldest Child
The first child feels all the attention and love of his parents, even if only for a while. . This makes the child feel that he is loved and that he is in an important position in the family. For this reason, it develops high self-confidence. Firstborn children often become responsible leaders. Most heads of state or CEOs around the world are usually first children. But this situation also has its cons. They are raised with high expectations of success in the inexperienced hands of their first-time parents. Therefore, this pressure to succeed on firstborns often leads them to develop a perfectionist personality. They also experience an intense sense of loss with the arrival of the new sibling; now he has to share his parents' love and attention. They are jealous of their siblings, resentful of their parents, and feel like their personal space is being violated. However, the presence of his sibling, for whom he is responsible for his care, helps the first child develop responsibility and empathy skills, and he uses these advantages as an advantage in his social and emotional life throughout his life.
Middle Child
The middle child experiences the advantages of being both a younger and an older sibling. He/she has both an older sister/brother who can take an example, be under their wing and guide him/her, and a younger sibling who can be a role model and keep an eye on him/her. However, taking away the role of being the baby of the family causes feelings of exclusion and jealousy in the middle child, because the older and younger siblings take up most of their parents' time. The middle child has to fight for attention. For this reason, he has been in competition with his siblings throughout his life. While he struggles to catch up with his older sibling, he also strives to surpass his younger sibling.
The Youngest Child
The youngest child has experienced and patient parents and grows up with these advantages. . can be a role model, One of his biggest advantages is having an older sibling who he can learn from and whose support he feels. As a result, they become more knowledgeable and intelligent at a very early age. However, he is under the shadow of his older brother, who is more developed physically and mentally than him. Without understanding the age difference, he constantly tries to catch up with her, and this causes him to feel inadequacy over time. In addition, the fact that his older brother is always experiencing firsts (such as riding a two-wheeled bike, getting ready for high school, attending the prom) makes him intensely jealous. The older sibling often feels left out or invisible because the developments in his or her life take up their parents' time and attention. In addition to all this, being under constant control and criticism by his older sibling damages his self-confidence over time.
Recommendations for Parents
For the first child: Do not force your child to be perfect and do not force him to be perfect when he loses. even show love and care; Make him feel as loved as his new sibling; tell him about his own babyhood and how you took care of him; do not interfere with his private space, let him have his own friends; If he has feelings of jealousy or resentment, ask him to share them with you.
For the middle child: Take care of him enough so that he does not feel left out, do not forget the equation time = attention = love for children; When talking as a family, be sure to listen to him and let him talk; Give him the opportunity to develop his interests so that he can create his own unique character.
For the youngest child: Tell him that he cannot do the things his older sibling does yet because of his age, that his older sibling is in the same situation when he is his age, and that he can do all these things when he is his older sister/brother's age; celebrate and praise him when he achieves success; When you are busy with the responsibilities of the older child, try to spare special time for the younger child; Make sure to give the older child a task at their events or celebrations (for example, giving flowers to their older sister/brother at the end of the celebration); Do not allow his older sibling to bully him. If you sense such a situation, be sure to intervene and prevent it.
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