When the vacuum cleaner started, my 3-year-old daughter hurriedly climbed onto the couch and took a position she thought was safe for herself. This behavior was something that had been going on for 2-3 months and was a bit surprising to me. While I was wondering what could happen without panicking, I experienced another surprising event. As a child psychiatrist, I thought I should share this situation with you. One evening, while I was playing with my Legos with my daughter, she suddenly stopped the game, got up from the ground, went back to the seat she thought was safe for herself and started waiting. Before I could say "What's going on, what happened now", he said, "The garbage truck is passing by" and added, "He won't eat me, mom" and looked at me with his eyes looking for help. He was looking. At that moment; "Yes, we were experiencing the same childhood fears that every child goes through" I thought to myself. It turns out that my little one has been avoiding that environment for 2-3 months, afraid that the vacuum cleaner or garbage truck will come and eat him.
Fear is an emotion that exists during the child's development process. Starting from 6 months, a baby can develop fear of foreign objects, places and people. Without primary caregivers (usually mother and father), the baby reacts to different environments. He approaches new acquaintances and acquaintances, crying, and calls his mother. This is a result of the natural development process. Our baby's perception of the environment has increased and he has started to evaluate familiar-unfamiliar classifications. Feeling alienated and avoiding separation from parents continues until the age of 2.
Preschool age children (1-7 years) cannot distinguish between reality and imagination because they are in the concrete thinking stage. Since abstract thought processes are not developed, they evaluate events from a concrete perspective. They tend to create and believe unrealistic scenarios. Although it may seem very funny to us, a 3-year-old child may experience extreme fear that the garbage truck may eat him/her, that the vacuum cleaner may suck him/her in, and that when he/she sits on the toilet and it is flushed, he/she may get lost in it.
Children between the ages of 2 and 5. from parent to They begin to develop different fears other than separation and abandonment. These fears; It is directed towards various animals, loud noises and darkness.
The duty of parents in developmental period fears is to perceive these fears naturally and not to focus on these fears. It is important to listen to the child's fear in a simple and plain language and give him the message that he is safe. In this case, the child receives the message from the parents' reactions that their fears are unfounded. On the contrary, for example, if parents focus on these fears,“there is nothing, if you are very afraid, stay with me…” Their reactions may leave various questions in children's minds. For example, child; He/she may think, "Look, my mother/father also cares about this fear, so something really bad is going on." If our child is afraid of the dark while going to bed at night, a light light should be left on and he/she should be allowed to sleep in his/her room. If the object of fear is an animal; Parents can cope with this fear by buying toys for their children. At the same time, children will carefully observe and learn the shyness of their parents towards the animals encountered in the environment; This situation can cause fears to transition from natural fears to pathological fears (phobias).
By primary school age, the child can face developmentally different fears. These fears are directed towards abstract concepts such as the death of parents or humiliation at school. In coping with the fears of this period, the child's past life and the attitudes of his parents become important. Primary school ages are the period in which the child's abstract thinking ability develops and socialization and individualization gain importance. During this period, the child tends to prove his personality and identity to the environment and to move away from his parents. The responsibility-taking skills given by parents in previous periods will support and accelerate the child's individualization. Of course, fears about social life in this new period are natural.
Wishing you days with less fear.
&nb sp; Expert Dr. FİGEN KARACEYLAN ÇAKMAKCI
Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist
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