Man is alone in the world. He looks for ways to relieve his loneliness. Some people need the reflection of others in the mirror to forget their loneliness. He tries to be perfect in order to be loved and cared for. This sometimes happens to such an extent that it causes imbalance in the relationship. After a while, anger begins to accumulate inside people who give without getting anything in return. After a while, such people consult a doctor with various complaints such as unreasonable pain, insomnia or eating disorders.
Trying to give without taking indicates underlying pathological conditions. It is not in human nature to give without getting anything in return. Why do some people put themselves in trouble by adopting this situation that is contrary to human nature?
Adler is a scientist who has made significant contributions to psychoanalytic theory. One of his most important contributions to psychoanalysis theory is that he drew attention to the fact that the individual grows up with siblings in the family. He said that growing up as an only child and growing up with siblings are different. He emphasized that birth order within the family plays an important role on the personality of the individual. There are differences between being the first child in a family and being the middle or last child. The first child is treated as someone who needs to take responsibility, while the youngest child is treated as if he needs to be protected. The place where the individual positions himself within his family is the place where he positions himself within society. Competition between siblings plays an important role in shaping personality.
When we look at the positioning of people in the family who are convinced that they have to constantly give of themselves, we see that they take on heavy responsibilities in their childhood. People who are emotionally neglected despite taking responsibility turn into individuals who make all kinds of sacrifices to complete what they could not complete in their childhood.
They always feel obliged to give of themselves in order to be loved. They get stuck somewhere in this tiring journey. It is not a sustainable situation.
Psychotherapy ensures that this tiring journey ends. The individual is enabled to reacquaint himself with himself. Psychotherapy is an internal process in which the therapist and the client meet when necessary through the parent-child relationship. It is a journey.
Being a light on the client's path in his restructuring adventure is the spiritual satisfaction of the therapist.
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