Jealousy is an emotion that has become a problem in many relationships today. In fact, many people consider it equivalent to loving, as it is thought to arise from the instinct of possessiveness. However, this feeling of jealousy, which is not felt in moderation, affects the health and motivation of the relationship, especially the individual himself.
Jealousy is a situation that arises from more than one emotion and reaction rather than the reflection of a single emotion or concept. According to a research conducted on this subject, jealousy is a complex reaction to a danger that will cause the breakdown of an important relationship, while according to another research, jealousy is a perverted reaction that occurs when an important relationship is broken and manifests itself with increasing feelings of anger, unhappiness and fear. It is a state of emotion.
In fact, the basis of jealousy lies in two motives such as protecting the relationship and protecting self-esteem. In relationships, jealousy is often equated with feelings such as loving and possessive. People can be sensitive about the things they own and love. It is quite normal for them to worry about losing. Therefore, jealousy in close relationships is considered normal if it is done in moderation. However, the feeling of jealousy felt above normal and the resulting reactions are signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Jealousy According to Men and Women
In scientific studies on reactions to jealousy, women are more emotional, He found that men tend to be more aggressive and react more physically. It has been observed that women choose to be more "constructive" in coping strategies with jealousy.
According to evolutionary psychology, jealousy is divided into two: emotional and sexual jealousy. While sexual jealousy arises from the thought of one's partner having sexual intercourse with someone else; Emotional jealousy stems from the thought that one's partner is emotionally attached to someone else. Again, from an evolutionary perspective, men feel more sexual jealousy due to the thought of being sexually cheated on, while women feel more emotional jealousy.
So, healthy? What can be done to avoid establishing a bad relationship? First of all, the feeling of jealousy felt above normal should be taken under control. In this way, the relationship you will establish with your partner will depend on trust, and you will feel happier and more satisfied in terms of the relationship.
Dealing with Jealousy
It's not the past or the future; NOW!
In your relationship with your partner, try to focus on the moment and just enjoy that moment. Realize that your partner's preferred relationship is with you and the relationship you currently have. Also know that you are not in control of everything. If your partner chooses to move away from you, intervening with jealousy will only push your partner further away from you.
I Wonder Why Am I Jealous?
It is useful to question the perception you have of your partner. Why am I jealous? Why am I afraid of losing? Why do these thoughts cause me intense anxiety? If you can find the reasons behind your jealousy, you are more likely to keep it under control.
My Partner is an Individual Independent of Me
Sharing common time with your partner , doing many things together is one of the most natural things in a relationship. But the person in front of us is an individual independent of us; It is very necessary for us to accept that he has his own hobbies, things he likes, his own preferences, his own decisions, the friends he loves, and the time periods he wants to spend alone.
I Trust My Partner
As important as elements such as affection and love are in a relationship, the feeling of trust is at least as important. Starting a relationship in which you do not trust will cause you anxiety. When you trust your partner in the relationship, you will feel more positive.
What If?
Sometimes the thoughts we have in our minds distract us from reality. We cannot base our reactions on a real reason. Controlling the thoughts we have in our minds and It will be an important step not to reflect these unrealistic thoughts to our partner.
I Don't Compare Myself to Others
Realize how important you are to your partner. Comparing yourself with others causes you to test yourself with a feeling of worthlessness. Over time, it also affects your self-confidence.
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