It was easy to say, wasn't it? Living with a special child who needs special care, who knows how easy it was to explain from afar? What about living?
You learn more life experiences than you can learn from a child, and you both grow and grow. It was weird, wasn't it? When you are so worn out and your precious person achieves a single innovation, all your tiredness suddenly flies away like a bird. Maybe you wouldn't believe it if they told you, maybe you would be surprised by saying, 'No way, how can one be so attached to a child?' If you had not been the one struggling so much, if you had not witnessed your child's every development from the first day to the last day, you would not be so teary-eyed at the success stories told. If you had not witnessed every step of your child diagnosed with autism, from the moment he woke up in the morning until he went to bed at night, perhaps you would not be able to fully understand what the tired warrior parents you will hear somewhere are trying to say in their magnificent stories. And maybe how tired they must be...
Have you ever thought about or come across just one day's routine of parents of a child diagnosed with autism? For example, have you ever witnessed how they sometimes spend hours just to put on a single sweater? And to what extent they neglect themselves while caring for them? Have you ever seen how they disregard their own sleep, their own meal times, their own health, in short, their own care? I would like to exemplify this with a 'water source' metaphor: Think of a large water source in the forest, not connected to any sea; whose water and power seem never to end. Imagine drawing 500 kg of water from this water source every day. How many weeks or months will it last? This water source cannot be renewed unless it is fed by groundwater or rainwater, so after a while its water will decrease and its basin will dry out. The human soul works with exactly the same mechanism. If he only feeds and cares for himself without receiving care from outside sources, after a while he will come to the point of exhaustion, or he will be very reluctant and unhappy while giving care, or he will be too tired to provide care completely. In other words, when caring for one's children, family and loved ones, one must first take care of one's own self-care and It is necessary to renew its power. Because no spiritual energy can continue without renewal.
I can almost hear you saying, 'Well, that's nice to say, but how should this caregiver take care of himself?' The first rule is that when you care for yourself, you should think of it as a favor you do for the child you care for. Remember, the child you care for will not be well enough unless you are well! Think about what you are doing for yourself when you try to offer so much 'the best' to your child. For example, do you eat healthy, do you drink enough water daily, drink 15 minutes a few times a week. Do you leave everything aside and go for a walk? These are very basic requirements for your physical health. What are you doing for your mental health? 10 min. Can you commiserate with a relative and express your feelings, even if it is a family member? In order to focus on different areas, we organize interviews, meetings, seminars, concerts, etc. even for short periods of time. Do you attend events? What about psychotherapy? Although many people think that going to psychotherapy is linked to mental illness, psychotherapy sessions are actually one of the most meaningful areas an individual can do to 'get better and care for himself'. For this, you can reach psychologists in private psychotherapy centers or municipalities, rehabilitation centers, etc. You can request psychotherapy from psychologists in institutions. Psychotherapy sessions, sometimes carried out in groups and sometimes individually, can be useful for you to focus only on yourself, increase your spiritual strength, and be stronger when caring for your child.
Although I argue that dialogue and socializing with other people is very good for the human soul, if you say that you do not have time to go to therapy or an event, then give yourself a break by reading a book, maybe just 5-10 minutes. Or make something meaningful at home that you can love, just for yourself, using your creativity.
Remember, no matter whether you are an adult or the parent of a special child who needs special care, there is a child inside you that expects care from you. And you can't be happy enough until that child is happy. So don't forget your inner child.
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