Dear parents; In these days when report cards are being prepared and summer vacation is approaching, there are students who are joyfully waiting for their report cards, as well as the existence of students who are stressed or even exhibit depressive symptoms due to the report card, which actually shows the importance of raising awareness about what needs to be done in this period.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS A BASIC NEED AND RIGHT.
Children have a very basic need and right to be loved unconditionally by their families. Along with this need, they worry about evaluation results such as report cards, thinking that they will be loved by their families as long as they are successful, and that if they are not successful, they will lose their family's love because they cannot meet their expectations. First of all, before seeing your child's report card, express to him that you love him very much and that the results of the report card will never change the situation.
A REPORT CARD IS A RESULTS-ORIENTED MEASUREMENT.
Although the student's one-term study performance and success are tried to be evaluated with the report card. It is important to remember that we have a result-oriented education system. In other words, the system does not comprehensively measure the child's effort to listen to the lesson, his effort to learn the lesson, and his ability to incorporate and internalize what he has learned into his life. The system can make a success determination based on the instant answer rate of the questions asked to the child through exams. In other words, the existence of variables such as a learning effort that cannot be measured by exams, stress and performance anxiety that negatively affect the knowledge measured by exams should always be taken into consideration when evaluating the student and report card grades.
PARENTS SHOULD BE PROCESS-FOCUSED…
Despite the result-oriented nature of the education system, I recommend that parents be process-oriented and follow their children throughout the entire process, motivate them and read the results accordingly. In other words, during the year, "Don't study now, we will see you on report card day." It is a huge mistake to say that. Because children cannot plan for long-term consequences. For this reason, adults' ability to inform and guide the long-term consequences of their immediate behavior will increase children's success. Parental guidance is also very important so that students can experience this feeling of failure and learn what not to do. The family should direct the child to question by focusing on the reasons, not the failure.
BEWARE OF LEARNED HELPFULNESS!
If the student has really made an effort and could not reflect his efforts on his report card grades because he could not manage the process well due to reasons such as exam anxiety, stress, illness, etc., the student will be successful no matter what I do, which we call "learned helplessness". It is possible that he will not feel like he can't be. This is a very dangerous conclusion. It may eliminate the student's motivation to study in the future. Therefore, if you think such a situation is happening, have your child look at the table regarding his grades from a realistic perspective, draw attention to his positive and strong aspects, and be proud of his efforts. Direct him to seek professional support for low success due to a psychological reason such as exam anxiety.
DO NOT COMPARE!
With the receipt of report cards, there will be children with good grades and children with bad grades. Evaluate your child individually. Do not compare yourself with your friends, siblings, or others in short. Comparison makes your child feel worthless and inadequate. This feeling of worthlessness will negatively affect your motivation in the long run. If your child compares himself with others, direct him to evaluate himself and help him focus on himself. Success is healthy and developmental if it stays in a personal place.
EVERY STUDENT DESERVES A VACATION.
Even if your child has not made any effort, he/she should go to school every morning and work there for a full working day, complying with certain rules. Living is a matter of discipline. For that reason alone, he deserved to be heard. Whatever the outcome, try to offer your child a good and productive holiday. Try to make a program that is away from technology and full of activities that develop creativity. The most useful suggestion that can be given to students of all ages for summer holidays is to read books that suit their interests. A student who manages to read books just for pleasure, without being evaluated, will have planted the seeds of a habit that will develop him/her throughout his/her life.
Read: 0
