The stubbornness period is generally seen intensely in every child between the ages of 2-4. The reason for this is that the child has now begun to separate from the parents. He wants to take control. (Autonomy). He started to search for an identity for himself. He wants to prove that his parents can no longer control him (Independence). He has started to experience the world little by little and is excited and curious about it. Beginning to separate from his parents is a first for him and he is anxious.
During this period;
- He has difficulty complying with the rules.
- It has become more frequent for him to give why and no answers to questions. . (He wonders, he rebels)
- Objects and insists on things that are said no to.
- Crying fits and tantrums occur when requests are not accepted.
- Now he is uncomfortable being carried on his lap, he wants to move on his own, he refuses to hold hands.
- In short, he has started to meet the world, he has become aware of himself. While this is a period of stubbornness, it is also a period of discovery for the child. During this period, the reactions of parents are of great importance for social development. It is seen as a difficult period for both parents and the child.
What Can Parents Do?
-Actions that the child wants to do on his own should be supported. For example, during this period, the child wants to eat his own food and choose his own clothes.
-Parents should avoid using no. He/she must learn to say no without saying no. ☺ The word "no" will initiate stubborn behavior in the child.
- Instead of setting rules, correct behavior should be rewarded. Thus, the frequency of doing that behavior will increase.
-Instead of "No", the child should be told the reasons why his behavior is not accepted, and at the same time, the feelings the child is experiencing at that moment should be reflected. For example; Let's say the child wants to wear shorts when it's raining. “I know you want to wear shorts now and you're angry at me, but there's a reason I don't want you to wear shorts. Look, it's raining outside. This could make you sick. Do you want to be sick? If you want f You can choose a different outfit.
-It is important for parents to use a common language regarding the rules that everyone in the family must follow. The father should not support a behavior that the mother deems inappropriate.
-Alternatives can be offered to the child and he can be distracted when he gets angry.
-Should, should sentences should not be used. Instead of you should do this, you should eat this; do you want to do this? How about eating this? Like. Requirement and imperative sentences are perceived as a threat to the child's individuality and initiate stubborn behavior.
Read: 0
