Human makes mistakes. These mistakes are sometimes intentional and sometimes unintentional. But he breaks and hurts someone else. It is difficult to be the injured party in such a situation. Because sometimes the sadness and disappointment are so much that we cannot overcome them. A blow we receive, especially from someone we love, makes us say, "How could you do this to me?" It is difficult to forgive after such pain. But we think it's harder not to forgive.
What is not forgiveness?
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Forgiveness does not mean forgiving or exposing the other person's behavior.
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Forgiveness does not require you to tell the other person that you forgive.
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Forgiveness does not mean that your feelings about the issue must completely end. Especially sadness and disappointments related to the issue can continue to exist despite forgiveness.
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When you forgive, the relationship does not completely heal. There is still a lot to do.
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Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the event or situation.
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Forgiveness does not give you the obligation to keep the person you forgive from your life. .
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Forgiveness is not something to be done for someone else.
What is forgiveness?
Essentially, forgiving means morally giving up the negative emotions we feel due to the victimized situation. These negative emotions are feelings such as revenge, wanting the criminal to be punished, and hatred.
Wanting to Forgive but Not Being able to Forgive
If you want to forgive but cannot, you may have the following characteristics:
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You may have a feeling of revenge
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You may prefer to feel superior
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You may not know how to solve the situation
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You may like anger
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You may not be playing the victim role. You may not want to leave
If you don't have all these and you still can't forgive, ask yourself this question:
Do I really want to forgive?
It is necessary to truly want to forgive. Forgiveness is not an obligation but a moral choice. You experience the negative effects that come from not forgiving yourself in the first place. If you want to avoid emotions, you can choose to forgive. And most importantly, you can forgive when you really want to forgive.
What can we do to forgive?
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Think about that memory that broke you. Accept that that memory happened and how it made you feel.
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Know the improvements you have made because of the event you experienced. Question what this incident taught you.
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Think about that person who disappointed you. Accept the fact that the person is wrong and look at him again.
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And now decide whether to forgive or not.
Forgiveness is a virtue.
By forgiving, we learn to simply accept the situation and live with it. It is your choice whether to forgive or not. However, if we want to live with more ease, putting aside all arrogance rather than living full of negative emotions, we need to try to forgive, which is a virtue for ourselves.
Sharp vinegar will damage the cube.
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