It is possible to write hundreds of pages while examining marriage problems, but I want to make you think a little by asking you some questions from a practical perspective.
If the goal is to be happy, why do we constantly sabotage peaceful moments? If not, our subconscious mind wants to end the marriage or Does he want to continue in a different climate?
The world has changed very quickly, everything has changed, but is it reasonable to expect the roles of men and women to remain the same? Why are you so afraid of reformulating marriage and the roles of men and women?
If two adults get married; Take a look, do you or your partner really act like adults when you argue? Are you aware that "father-daughter", "mother-son" or "child-child" style relationships are not very sustainable today?
Why are you so insistent when accusing and judging your spouse, even though you have no evidence?
What if improving the repertoire instead of saying "I won't change" will make both you and your partner happy?
What if your personal development is not very good, your ego is rigid and you always insist on doing the things you know best and use this as a reference and upset the other person? ?
What if you are selfish and narcissistic and your marriage is structured on the "all for me" model? What if you see constantly violating your partner's boundaries as a natural or cultural right? How correct is it to take refuge in the templates "a woman wouldn't do this" or "a man wouldn't do that"?
Are you aware that your marriage can be saved if you just change your style of expression about the incompatibility or differences between you? How about thinking that very rapid changes can happen with the right communication techniques or a marriage therapist?
What do you think would happen if you started to think that sometimes changing the red lines can "grow" both you and the marriage?
You keep saying the same things all the time. How realistic is it to do this and expect a different marriage?
When do you think you will stop constantly fighting for these differences instead of accepting and adapting to the fundamental differences between men and women?
You insistently impose your past family culture on your spouse. Wouldn't it be unfair to try to impose it? What if what happened in his family never happened in your family, and the culture and roles are different. Your model is the most accurate model Who told you that you were crazy?
It is very, very common for you to bring past childhood memories of your mother or father into your current marriage. Either you are sabotaging your current marriage in order to hold on to past memories or avoid betrayal.
Couldn't you be being unfair to your current spouse in order not to be like your father or not to be like your mother?
Ability to change the words that come out of our mouth under stress. How about getting counseling to gain skills?
Are you aware that if you don't get counseling as soon as you become interested in third parties, you may get entangled in an irreversible impasse due to human nature?
Divorce counseling instead of getting divorced by fighting and wasting the children. Or how about getting marriage therapy?
I wrote a few of the 100s of questions to make you think or raise awareness. I hope I can contribute.
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