How should child psychology and sexual awareness process be handled? What should be the role of parents during this period?
''My 4-year-old son touches his genitals with his hand and repeats these behaviors secretly in his room over and over again. My 5-year-old daughter rubs herself from time to time, sometimes touches her genitals in kindergarten and says she likes to do this...''
''Aren't you ashamed?'' ''Isn't it a shame?'' Do we use sentences such as "If I see you doing it again..." "Such things are sinful...etc" for our children?
During the preschool period, children undergo physical and psychological development as well as sexual development. can be seen. Repetitive genital stimulation behaviors are observed in many children, which are considered normal development and do not cause any developmental problems. It usually starts around 18 months, reaches its most common age at the age of 4, and begins to decrease after the age of 6.
The age of 3 is a very important developmental period in children. Because during this period, children enter a period in which they become curious about their bodies and genitals. A child who discovers that touching his genitals is pleasurable may repeat this behavior for a while. These repeated behaviors can sometimes be seen in society and social environments. Because in this process where the child discovers his own body, he wants to share and show this different and new experience to other people. In such cases, instead of getting angry at your child, embarrassing him or making him feel guilty, it is necessary to demonstrate understanding and consistency, knowing that this behavior is a temporary process...
Sexual arousal (masturbation), which is a part of a normal healthy development in children, sometimes puts families through a difficult process. can sting. Because adults may consider these behaviors as shameful or shameful behavior. This actually turns the healthy process into an unhealthy one without realizing it.
Don't Think of It Like Adult Sexuality!
Parents' awareness of this temporary Perceiving the process as something shameful and something that should not happen harms both themselves and their children. What children experience and feel It is very different from what adults feel. The child discovers that touching his genitals is pleasurable and may repeat this behavior for a while. The child cannot understand why he feels pleasure while doing these behaviors, but he goes back to the feeling he notices over and over again. When the child touches his body, he feels that his experience is different and wants to do it again and again as he gets pleasure. Girls are more likely to rub against objects and touch them with their hands; We can also see behaviors such as holding and squeezing the genitals of boys.
In such cases, we should immediately remember that they are children and think that your children notice these behaviors in some way (impulsively). If we feel angry at your children and choose not to talk to them, you leave them alone with this behavior. In other words, you give them the opportunity to do it more.
Masturbation is not a danger for children, it is a special behavior for them to relax. As the child touches his own body and gets pleasure, he feels safe and turns this satisfaction into profit with the feeling of being loved. And this again forms the basis of self-confidence development.
How Should You Act?
*If your child masturbates, you should keep in mind that it is a healthy part of development rather than making a big deal about it.
*You should follow your child from a distance in a controlled manner and determine in which situations your child increases these behaviors.
*Making sure that your child does not have any health problems and that there is no problem that causes itching in the genital area. It is necessary.
*If all checks have been made and there is no health problem, most of the process is in the hands of adults, so it should not be forgotten that family attitude is important.
*Observe how often your child does this behavior during the day and Try talking to him calmly. Ask him how he feels when he does this and never shame him.
*Explain to your child in appropriate language that this is a special behavior. Create special spaces suitable for him and find different activities to help him calm down and relax.
When to Seek Expert Support?
If your child is If the child repeats the behavior very frequently, outside of normal, and has turned it into a behavior that reduces the child's interest in his/her own body and the environment, and if it begins to harm the child's ability to communicate, it is definitely recommended to seek expert support.
We should not forget that in both cases, masturbation is a detriment to development. It is one of the most basic parts of the behavior, and the frequency of the behavior and whether the process takes longer or not is directly proportional to the attitudes of the family and adults. My suggestion to families is that we should not overestimate this process; But it is a situation that we should not ignore. As in every process, every situation that is started with patience and consistency will result in success.
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