fairy tales

1-Why is it important for children to listen to or read fairy tales?

Fairy tales have many benefits for children. Fairy tales are very important for the development of children's imagination, communication, creativity and hopes. With fairy tales, we learn that impossible things happen, and that things considered impossible are actually doable. Fairy tales play a very important role in the development of our imagination and abilities.

Where do we listen to the fairy tale? In our bed, which is the warmest and safest place.

From whom do we hear the tale? do we listen? From the warm voices of the people we trust the most (mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, grandmother…)

At what time do we listen to the story? While we are lying down, that is, when we are at our most vulnerable state and falling asleep. While diving.

Where such special phenomena come together, perceptions open up, creative ideas surround everything and children fall asleep happily. Even these actually show us how important fairy tales are.

2-What should be taken into consideration when choosing the tales we will read or tell to children?

There is more to fairy tales than reading them. I think the explanation is more important. Tell fake fairy tales to your children. Let there be fairy tales about you and your children. In these tales, fish should climb trees, birds should swim under the sea, trees should walk, the impossible should happen, wild animals should be cute, no one should kill or injure anyone, fairy tales are about dying, killing, anger, grudge, class, ideology, rich and poor, strong and weak dilemmas. Don't let it happen. So what will you say? You can combine many topics such as new ideas, hopes, excitement, inventions, lifestyles, sentences organized with love, togetherness, different thoughts, differences... and tell your children by involving them in fairy tales.

Do not tell classic fairy tales. For example, Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Hansel & Gretel or Little Red Riding Hood fairy tales. Pay attention to these fairy tales, they contain subconscious motifs such as anger, grudge, fear, submission, socioeconomic class differences, master and slave, etc., which make our children draw clear boundaries. These approaches appear to be one of the factors that weaken our children's imagination and self-confidence.

E.g. Let's take a look at the fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood.

Little Red Riding Hood, a sweet, cute girl living in the forest, does not even have a name. Her family said, "In any case, when our daughter grows up, she will wear a red riding hood dress and we will name her Little Red Riding Hood." This girl didn't have any friends. His only duty was to wake up every morning and take food to his grandmother. And through a forest full of hungry and intelligent wolves. One day, her father doesn't turn to his daughter and say, "Oh, baby, don't go, you're small, I'll go." Why doesn't she say? Because the father dreams of being alone at home with the mother. The mother is never around anyway. According to a rumor; To get rid of Little Red Riding Hood, the mother and father persuaded her to go to the forest full of wolves to bring food to her grandmother. Of course, Little Red Riding Hood, naive and unaware of anything, wore her red riding hood dress every day and went to her grandmother through the forest full of hungry wolves. Wolves are also so smart; He carries out a plan that even a human would have difficulty in devising, to eat Little Red Riding Hood. First, he meets Little Red Riding Hood and chats in a friendly manner. He learns his grandmother's address from Little Red Riding Hood and goes there using navigation. Since his grandmother is sick, he eats her in one go, sorry, and swallows her whole thing. Of course, this meal doesn't cut it for the Wolf, and he wants to eat Little Red Riding Hood for dessert, and he disguises himself to eat a little girl, lies on his grandmother's bed and waits for Little Red Riding Hood. Of course, the wolf started talking like a human, and there was not even an accent left. Well; The wolf is gone and a charismatic person has come in its place. Little Red Riding Hood had astigmatism, myopia, hyperopia, and all the vision-related problems you know and don't know. Otherwise, how do we explain his inability to distinguish between a wolf and his grandmother who is only wearing his grandmother's pajamas? Anyway, let's continue our story. Little Red Riding Hood noticed something, but she couldn't stop her grandmother. Despite everything, this naive girl, who has problems with near vision and low IQ, approaches the wolf to clear her doubts. k starts asking questions. “Grandma, why do you have big eyes, hands and mouth?” saying. The wolf answers sweetly with his unaccented tongue and suddenly opens his mouth with the last sentence and tries to eat Little Red Riding Hood. Here, the story telling is divided into two, according to one narrative: The hitherto naive girl with vision problems leaves, and Xena turns into an experienced pervert who has regained her strength and has no vision problems. First, he grabs the wolf's tail and throws it to the ground, then he quickly takes the scissors from the cabinet, cuts open the wolf's stomach without using anesthesia and saves his grandmother. He fills her stomach with stones, then stitches her up like a master surgeon and throws her to the side of the river. According to a second narrative: The wolf eats this naive girl, sorry, and swallows her, then the hunters come and cut off the wolf's head with an axe, and the mother saves the mother and daughter. a fairy tale. We are waiting for him to say "What a great job Little Red Riding Hood did, long live". Your child is listening to this tale from the person he trusts the most in the world and where he is least vulnerable: in bed. I hope that from today onwards, you will tell different fairy tales to your children, with love and hope in them.

3-What is the importance of choosing fairy tales for the child?

How children between the ages of 2-10 define themselves, the environment, and the world. The age of recognizing borders, people, culture, prohibitions, freedoms and rules. It is very important for the development of children that the fairy tales that are told at this age and that children listen to wholeheartedly are content that opens children's horizons, hopes and minds, rather than giving them a design.

Children's imagination is very strong. He can create big fictions from many tiny things or minimize big facts. Our children often pick up on our negative aspects. They use these negative behaviors sometimes to signal us and sometimes to defend themselves against us. While doing these, they use a lot of their imagination. Imagination is the child's greatest resource in life. This source is fed by our approaches to each other, our communication with our children, our reactions to events, the content of fairy tales and many facts. That's why fairy tales are an important element that affects our happiness.
4-What kind of fairy tales should be chosen at what age?

Every child is born unique and every family raises their children according to their own social, political, cultural, religious and social approaches. It wouldn't be right to say that these fairy tales should be told at this age in such a complex structure. But there is a point to pay attention to. Fairy tales should be free, creative and should not have anger, grudge, hatred, death, prohibitive or commanding approach.

Conscious Parents School has been serving more than 14,000 parents in more than 200 schools and institutions for 4 years. We provided "school" training. The motto of this training is "The conscious parent is not the one who reads a lot of pedagogical publications or researches a lot, but is the one who gives his love without any filter and unconditional." We set out with this motto and instead of giving prescriptions, we made the parent realize himself. We have had very nice group therapy-like activities and they continue. Part of our training was about fairy tales. When we told the fairy tales this way, we received very positive written and verbal feedback from the parents. There are already enough rules and prohibitions outside. Our children should dream freely, peacefully and without competition, at least in fairy tales, so that when our children grow up, they can give us self-confidence and happiness with their thoughts, inventions and management styles.

What is the Conscious Parents School?

If you want, let's explain the Conscious Parents School in the language of our parents, not in our language. Because what the other party understands is as important as what we tell.

• When I started telling made-up stories, my child was first very surprised, then he loved it and we tell the story with a different hero every day. My child is much happier. Night cries have decreased a lot. Thank you

• When I had a problem with someone else, I would hug my child. It turns out what a heavy responsibility I gave him. That's why my child couldn't break away from me.

• It turns out that my child was using my stubbornness to deal with me.

• My overprotective approach even though the environment was safe. Because of this, my child has become insecure and wimpy.

• No child is born naughty, cowardly, spoiled or unsuccessful. But we don't get everything we want. Then we ask, "To whom did you draw?" We are the ones who made him like this ☹

• After a while, my child internalized the messiness and aggression that he showed me as a signal, because of my lack of understanding.

• How harmful was the excessive love and attention I provided.

• I shouldn't have put my child to bed next to me. It is important for emotional development.

• When my child comes to me at night and asks, "Can I sleep with you?", it may be due to problems with trust and loneliness...

• We would reward or punish my child for every exam. We gave him the first bribe.

• From now on, whenever my son acts aggressively, I will understand his feelings and be closer to him by saying "why did you do it?" instead of "why did you do it?"

• He became addicted to gaming because the bonuses, gold and points he earned in internet games made him feel valuable. I will appreciate it more from now on.

Do you continue your Conscious Parents School training?

Our Conscious Parents School trainings are in institutions, As S Concept Academy and ADED (Family Counseling Therapy Education Association), our training continues in many parts of Turkey for schools and individual applications.

 

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