Human life consists of cumulative learning styles. We can think of these accumulations as an archive. If we feel satisfied at the end of our experiences and continue happily, these events are well recorded in our past and stored appropriately. We can use this archive whenever we need it. However, if we are not satisfied with the events we experience, if we are not happy, or if there are some situations that we have to leave unfinished, all these events will be recorded in the archive as either incomplete or corrupt.
It was an issue predicted by GESTALT psychologists that people have a tendency to complete incomplete tasks.. This is an issue predicted by GESTALT psychologists. According to theory; People do not perceive objects in the environment independently of each other, they perceive them as a whole. During perception, some objects are brought to the fore and some objects are pushed into the background. What determines what comes to the fore is the individual's needs at that moment; if we are hungry, we perceive food, if we are thirsty, we perceive drink. Unfinished work occurs when the shape is pushed into the background before it is completed. Because the person is not satisfied, the need is not satisfied, and therefore it is left unfinished. Imagine, you wanted to express your feelings, you were about to say something and you couldn't say it, you were just about to get married but you couldn't, you were about to be happy but it didn't happen.
Of course, not every unfinished business affects everyone the same. The reasons for not completing the task, the importance of the task, and how much it affects us may vary depending on many factors and situations. Our structures, our value judgments, our current age and the environment we live in are the triggers and decision makers of all of these.
What I have observed from my clients these days is that social media also acts as a reminder of unfinished business... Now imagine that you are in your twenties and you have a flirty relationship. You just introduced this relationship to your family and something happened that you never expected and both parties hated each other. No matter what you did, that party and your family could not find common ground (of course, at your young age, you could not manage the process). And even though you loved the expected outcome very much, you had to leave. Here's some unfinished business for you... Years passed, you both lived your own lives, got married and had children. One day, both parties saw this unfinished business on social media and realized the real need at this time. If what you're missing is emotionality or a flirty relationship, those unfinished business may come into play at this point. People may think that if we failed to be happy in the past, now we have grown up and can manage the process. At that time, our own decisions were influenced by factors other than our family and us. Now, they say the situation will be different and set out on a new path to complete the work they could not finish that remained in their minds. But this time, your children and your ex-spouse are involved, and you have to maintain other balances. You begin to feel more stuck and trapped on this path that you set out to complete with the best of intentions. This feeling wears you out and you no longer feel the initial excitement. Next thing you know, the person in front of you is not the same person you knew before. And the frustration and disappointment resulting from this situation drags you into greater chaos and imbalance that you have never been able to achieve. In this case, the subconscious even immediately makes a profit and loss calculation. At least you had a balanced life in your old relationship. Okay, you weren't overly excited, but your needs were being met. You had no major disappointments, nor did you expect happiness from this relationship. And thus, you finish the work of the past. Profit and loss account is an event made at the end of a business. You finish this unfinished business with other kinds of generalizations. I can't manage to be happy. I messed up everything. These generalizations can lead you to depression.
We don't have a chance to return to the past with reality, it's gone. Even though we have time machine dreams, we cannot go back in reality. We cannot complete those works. The only moment we have is now. Of course, we have a past, it passes and affects our present, so we can intend to live our life consciously, to share our emotions with other people that affect us, to complete the situations we experience at the moment as much as we can, and to accept the situations we cannot control…..
With love…….
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