If the first birth in human life is coming out of the mother's womb, our second birth is the "Marriage" experience where we say hello to a new life, just like the first birth.
Even if you married your spouse after a long period of dating, once you start living under the same roof, attitudes and behaviors of both parties that surprise each other emerge. This process is generally described with similar sentences such as "the person I married has changed a lot" or "you are no longer the person I knew" or "you have become a different person..." etc.
Marriage makes you no longer two people, it makes you a part of a social whole, including families and relatives, and includes you in a system. So marriage is a systemic phenomenon. It is like a cycle where both sides influence each other.
The first relationship patterns in our lives where we experience close relationships are the relationships we establish with our mother, father and siblings. When we reach adulthood, the only close relationship that resembles the first relationships we established in childhood is the "marriage relationship". After the marriage bond is established, individuals try to establish similar parental and sibling relationships in their original families with the person they marry. Because our brain depends on its habits and likes to draw similarities between its experiences. People who get married re-enact the relationship problems they experienced in their original family relationships, but which they subconsciously forgot and were not aware of until they got married, in their own marital relationship. The purpose of this attitude, which is actually the approach of the unconscious, is to heal ourselves within another relationship and repair our wounds. However... the result turns into serious marital problems..
Especially after important life-affecting events such as having a baby, financial difficulties, job loss, not receiving enough support from families, conflicts between families or the death of one of the elders of the family, the relationship in marriage problems are triggered more.
In such cases, it becomes increasingly difficult for couples to understand themselves, their spouses and the relationship between them. It is almost inevitable that every marriage goes through such difficult periods. In such periods, couples become increasingly anxious about their relationships and cannot see the options before them. they become. It is often thought that divorce is the only option. However, there are other options for solution. While going through difficult times, the most rational option is for couples to receive professional marriage therapy so that they can see different options and understand their situation and each other.
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