One of the most questioned topics when in a Close Relationship; Am I with the right person and am I in a relationship that is right for me? Is happening. In the initial phase of relationships, that is, in the first stages where liking begins and mixed with love and intense emotions, people are caught up in the influence of their rising emotions instead of questioning the other party or themselves because they are in love. The period of love is the most satisfying period for people, but it is also the period when curtains come down most often. When couples fall in love with each other, they almost experience a vision problem. This problem is not actually about the moments when a person knows the other person completely and admires him/her; It is a period when he tries to revive the ideal standards in his mind. In other words, when people are in love, they tend to perfect the other person and make them conform to their expectations. When love begins to mutate, that is, when it gives way to real life and real personalities, then you start to get to know and question the other person. When this process begins, if the ideals and the real person are close to each other, the duration and quality of the relationship will last longer. However, if people question themselves and their relationships too much, then the veil of love begins to lift and the visual impairment begins to end.
While the definition of the right relationship and the right person varies from person to person, there are definitely things to pay attention to. Especially what the relationship transforms the person into is one of the most important issues. Does the relationship improve you? Or does it turn you into a completely different person that you don't want? So does it take you away from yourself? Another point is the similarity ratios of the couples. Although opposite poles are attractive in the short term, they attract and destroy each other in the long term. Common points are the basic nutritional sources of the relationship for people. However, there will definitely be differences, although not extreme. Here it is necessary to observe carefully whether these differences enrich or impoverish the relationship. Another point of correct relationship is, are we really affected by the person in front of us, or does it remind us of other people we know that reflect on us but we cannot notice? So your choice and the person you think you don't know are a reflection of a person in your past or family. It is necessary to notice whether it is or not. Because wherever the pain of a human being is, his heart beats there. In order to confront the pain indirectly and repair it in your own way, you need to pay attention to the tricks of your unconscious. For example; It is not a coincidence that someone whose father is an alcoholic and violent chooses a person with the same characteristics as a spouse. It is completely the choice of the unconscious. Here, the person is either trying to repeat the negative mechanism to which he is accustomed and feels safe, or he is trying to correct it himself by choosing someone similar to his father's characteristics that his mother could not correct. It is necessary to examine and study these carefully.
Finally, questioning the right relationship does not mean that you are in a wrong relationship under all circumstances. In order to improve your relationship and make it healthier, it is very useful for everyone to question their relationship a little. For this reason, relationships are studied in couple therapies and positive results are obtained.
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