Modern psychology is gradually evolving into emotion-focused methods over time. Let's try to briefly explain what this means, without delving into too much academic complexity. Psychologists now say that our emotions determine our thoughts (cognition), and therefore our emotions determine our behaviors. Our thoughts, that is, our consciousness, make our emotions meaningful. The emotional system is our primary structure. It is managed by the emotional centers located in the midbrain, namely the limbic system and the amygdala nucleus, and is the main program in our basic creation. Although experts do not map it exactly like this, it seems to us that it points to the subconscious imaginary.
If the primary mechanism of our mind is our emotions, one of the first questions that comes to mind is what our basic emotions are. According to the emotion-focused approach, 7 basic emotions are mentioned, respectively: Anger, sadness, fear, shame, disgust, joy and surprise. You all searched for love, but love was not one of our basic emotions, but a secondary emotion that we acquired through joy, that is, a learned emotion. But there is a more important situation for our topic; The first of our basic emotions is anger.
First of all, these basic emotions are mandatory for our survival. When we look at anger in this context, it is an emotion that protects our physical and spiritual integrity. When we feel an attack on our vitality, existence, unity, dignity, rights and boundaries, we become angry and protect ourselves. And perhaps we will feel our first anger towards the mother who delays breastfeeding. These basic emotions of ours are absolutely vital. Therefore, we do not have the chance to say "let's not get angry." We will surely be angry. But the point is to resolve the anger later. If we cannot cope with our feeling of anger and turn it into aggression, or if we keep this feeling of anger inside ourselves and grow it inside us, then the feeling of anger becomes an even bigger problem for us.
Healthy emotions are instantaneous, they are in the present, in the moment. They are experienced and resolved. Later, when conditions change, they are relived and resolved again in accordance with those conditions. If we experience our anger in the moment and cannot resolve it and keep it inside, we will tie our soul into knots. And anger grows bigger within us. And this brings us to the title of the article. tirir; FORGIVENESS. If we experience our anger and resolve it when we experience it, there is no problem. We know that anger is a basic emotion and should be experienced when necessary. Of course, this is not an experience that means I'm angry at you and let's go and bite your ear off. At this point, it is important not to cause any misunderstanding. When we say that anger should be experienced and resolved, it should be within the framework of social and individual acceptance and approval. The subject of our article is not how we can resolve our anger in a healthy way. The real issue that concerns us is our anger, which we cannot resolve and which we keep inside and create big knots within us. That is, the others and ourselves that we cannot forgive.
Forgiveness is a concept that is often misunderstood. Forgiveness, which is our subject, is not an amnesty like the state granting amnesty to criminals. Or it is not a forgiveness like forgiving our spouse who constantly betrays us and expecting him/her not to do it again. Or, it is not possible to completely ignore or forget the issue. Just as anger protects our self and personal integrity, such forgiveness devalues our self. Because constantly forgiving someone again destroys our personal integrity.
We should consider forgiveness as personal freedom. Because the real issue is to deal with the anger within us. Let's say someone made us very angry, anyone could have done anything to us and we would get angry too. And our anger began to grow within us and it grew and grew and grew, we could not forgive the situation. The question at this point is: who is harmed by this lack of forgiveness? How much is the person or situation that makes us angry or angry affected by this situation?
First of all, we must accept that forgiving is something we do for ourselves; It is an inner process, a self-experience. Let's say we were betrayed or we think that our father constantly hinders us and a lot of anger has accumulated within us. In this case, the basic emotion of anger will also produce other dark emotions such as grudge, hatred, hostility and jealousy. And thus, the five horsemen of the apocalypse who will drag our souls into darkness will take action. As negative emotional states increase, the brain becomes acidic and metabolic acidosis makes our body suitable for almost all diseases. So increasing our anger is only our own disease. It guarantees that we do. However, the generally accepted belief in society is to be strong, that is, not to forget or forgive until revenge is taken. As we all know, we even have a saying on this subject: "Revenge is a dish best served cold." And anyone who eats it knows for sure that the food will only sit in the stomach.
If there is a situation, event or situation that we cannot forgive. If there is a person, our mind is always in that memory. This may be the anger we direct towards ourselves, it may be the anger we develop against our parents as a result of their hindering us, or it may be the anger we develop against our spouse/lover's betrayal. We constantly think about that moment, that memory. We technically call this rumination of thought. I mean, temcit pilaf... Isn't it so boring, the subject is not forgiving. You see, it hinders all our development. We all know that we cannot drive by constantly looking in the rearview mirror. But not forgiving/not being able to forgive is exactly that.
At this point, it is clearly understood that when we say to forgive, we do not offer a favor to the other person, we only liberate ourselves. We forgive for ourselves, not for the other. When we understand this, we can achieve the honor of being a virtuous person.
And at this point, we have come to the appropriate stage to use one of the last tools that science offers us. We started our article by saying that emotion is the most basic thing, and we know that the most basic thing is the subconscious. And there is one more thing we know, that the shortest way to the subconscious is hypnosis. With hypnotherapy, it is possible to untie the knots of people's inability to forgive, insulate their subconscious from the anger within them in a healthy way, and save people from the burden of not being able to forgive.
Read: 0
