Many marriages begin with happiness. However, has anyone on earth maintained a happy marriage from beginning to end? It hasn't happened. It is not possible because happiness is not a "process"
but a "moment". If you or your partner do not have a pathological disorder, it is in your hands to increase the number and duration of happy
“moments” in marriage.
For this purpose, we recommend you read the following suggestions.
1. You cannot change anyone other than yourself, especially your spouse. .
Many people prepare a "list of features to change" for their spouse before getting married. Some
go even further and even prioritize. The irony is that the same list is made for him
too. Every person who is caught up in the illusion of change eventually sees that he can only change
himself. If you want to do something about it
start by tearing up your to-change list. If you do not accept the other person as they are, never get married. This acceptance should not be confused with spouses
improving each other.
2. Accept that your spouse existed before you
One of the important mistakes that couples commonly make is to assume that their spouse was born on the date they
met them. These people do not accept their spouse's past, family and
environment. This is a misconception and becomes a major cause of conflict. If you want to be happy with your spouse
, love your spouse's past, especially his family. People who have problems with their spouse's family say, "I don't have to love, but I respect." It is not enough to respect the family of the person you will share your life with
for a lifetime. Respect
can only lead to the minimum level of relationship. In our country where family ties are strong, unfortunately, respect is not enough to maintain a happy marriage. However, emotions sometimes
do not develop in the desired direction, even if desired. In other words, there may be people you cannot love even if you want to.
In this case, you have to learn to live with the person you do not love. This teaching may lead you to maintain a problem-free relationship.
3. Learn healthy sexuality
Sexuality is not just about sexual intercourse. Recognizing the roles of men and women, recognizing each other as men and women, and Accepting and respecting the differences between them forms the basis of healthy sexuality.
4. Parenthood should not make one forget about marriage.
Especially in our geography, spouses are forgotten when they have children. A woman who has a child forgets about her husband and gives all her energy to her child. On the other hand,
the man who does not help the woman who has to take care of the child throws himself out of the house and begins to seek happiness in other areas. This is an important test that must be given during the
marriage process. Parenting should not take marriage hostage.
5. What is my role in this problem?
When there is a problem in the relationship, spouses usually tend to blame the other party
. This attitude does not solve the problem, on the contrary, it causes the problem to increase.
If you really want to solve the problem, "What is my role in this problem?", "Which behavior I
change will contribute to the solution of the problem", "I Where am I making mistakes
" You need to ask yourself sincere questions that will improve your insight, such as
"I'm making this mistake but..." Unfortunately, making the mistake of looking for the reason for your own mistake
on the other party will not contribute to the development of your relationship. If both couples adopt these attitudes and behaviors, it will have a positive impact on the solution of the problem. It should not be forgotten that marriage is an
action performed with two people.
6. Why did I marry this person?
Why did you marry this person? Are your reasons for getting married still valid?
The main reason for continuing your marriage should not be forgotten. Even though this takes your root cause, remember
and check frequently to see if there is any deviation from the root cause. Reasons may change with certain realizations. Especially after being a child. I should not forget that the most binding reason in marriage
is to live happily together. There may be minor changes
from time to time, do not let these changes
cause negativities in your relationship.
7. There is no reason in marriage.
Relying on everything in marriage to a logic or rule will strain the relationship. Marriage is not a mind game, it is a game of desire. The issues that men especially have a hard time with are based on this reason. is. Men who cannot understand the importance of a flower in marriage will have difficulty in maintaining their marital relationship. We cannot consider every event in marriage with the principle of linear causality. Marriage is not a scientific platform where reason and logic are valid.
8. Agree on the issues you disagree on.
Some couples have issues on which they cannot agree and even on which they will never agree. If these
issues are brought up at every table, every anniversary or every unpleasant event, then the house has turned into hell or is about to. This is obviously an issue on which you will not be able to reach
agreement. Agreeing to disagree on this issue will be the best medicine for your
relationship health. If you agree to disagree on some issues
you won't fill your agenda in vain. Argumentation is a good tool for the
adrenaline boost that is necessary in marriage. Finding new discussion topics and discussing these new topics
increases the excitement in marriage, which adds joy to the relationship.
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