We are all going through a difficult and uncertain period with the coronavirus epidemic. We are afraid, we worry. In addition to the fear caused by the epidemic, we are also witnessing economic concerns, tensions between spouses, parents and children due to spending longer time at home. While everything is difficult for adults, what about our children? How should we explain this process to them? How should we approach?
If we want our children to understand and manage their emotions, it is very important that we first address our own fear and anxiety. First, we need to confront our thoughts and emotions, review them and be able to calm ourselves even a little bit. Because no matter what we tell children, they primarily focus on how we are and our facial expressions. So we can't fool them. In order to do this, it is important that, as parents, we make space and time to listen to ourselves, even just a little, in the midst of all this chaos. You know what they say on the plane, "put the mask on yourself first." This is true for every challenge in our lives.
If we have examined ourselves and calmed down, our child is next. We must ensure that he understands and makes sense of this process. While doing this, we must be supportive and honest. Because uncertainty is worrying for them too. We should explain it in a comfortable conversation environment by telling stories, humorous and gamifying them if necessary, in accordance with their age.
For example: “Dear, you must have heard adults everywhere talking about a microbe called coronavirus. I want to tell you a little about it. You can think of it like the flu. Do you remember when you were sick, your throat was sore, you had a fever? This is one of the microbes that cause illness. He's like him, but we don't really know him. It's new in our world. It used to cause diseases in the bodies of animals. Then somehow, to his surprise, the confused microbe came into people's bodies. He was very surprised and said, "Oh, where am I?" You know the defense soldiers in our bodies. When they saw the microbe, they said, 'Wait a minute, we've never seen you around here before. They start fighting the germs saying, 'Stop, you can't escape' and symptoms of the disease appear. It has now spread all over the world. That's why you don't go to school as a precaution. Your friends aren't going either. us too we stay at home. After a while, these will pass.”
When we tell our child these things, he will be a little worried. The important thing is not that he is worried, but that we notice and accept his feelings when he is worried. If you want, you can ask him to draw a picture after talking about these. Children can express their emotions much more easily and relax by drawing. You can play ridiculous "viral games" that you make up together and laugh. Laughter is one of the most important ways to cope with anxiety. We should create an environment where they can ask questions as much as possible. We should avoid constantly talking about this issue in front of them or watching news about it. When they ask questions about this issue, we should be honest, but avoid giving unnecessary details. Likewise, we should not make exaggerated promises such as "nothing will happen to us". Explain that there are healthcare professionals and hospitals helping people affected by the epidemic, that society is doing its best, and that you are doing your best to protect it. Emphasize hygiene rules. But do not shout or scare them when they have difficulty complying. If necessary, explain everything in detail.
They will get bored at home during the process. You will witness tantrums from time to time. This is so normal. It is important for us to be empathetic, to give space to all kinds of emotions and to accept them.
For example, “yes, dear. You are so bored. You missed your friends. You're having a hard time staying at home. The mother didn't let you watch any more cartoons you wanted. You are angry. You know, it will pass soon. I'm with you." It is very valuable to be able to stay with your child without getting angry or punishing him or her. Naturally, problems will arise during these times when we stay at home. He must accept that this is part of being a parent.
Finally, I want to say this. We are going through extraordinary, stressful days for all of us. We realized that we actually cannot control many things in our lives. So what do you think, can we put aside the things we can't control and focus on the things we can control? Can we enjoy being together as a family, which we have missed for a long time but have not been able to do in the hustle and bustle of life?
I wish hopeful and healthy days when all this is over.
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