The concept of change is an existential situation that is frequently used in philosophy. In fact, the wind of change extends from Heraclitus, who said, “You cannot step in the same river twice,” to Rimbaud, who said, “I am someone else.”
According to Nietzsche, although repetition itself repeats itself endlessly, it is undeniable that we have an existential resistance to change. The winds of change that create contradictions even within ourselves when the time comes, can also leave us in various dilemmas when triggered by the wishes of others.
External factors that may damage self-perception and esteem (our relationships, traumas, negative events and thoughts we experience) can affect our self-esteem. It can even bring you to the point of falling! In this case, the decisions we make and the responsibilities of the choices we make without "really" wanting to or feeling that we are ready can be quite exhausting. Of course, there is a solution to this situation, like everything else.
How to Overcome This Situation in a Healthy Relationship?
Empathize
The key is for us to understand each other and find a common point in our relationships. The most important thing is being able to look at the world through someone else's eyes. We must understand our partner's feelings and thoughts and protect him/her from situations that will leave him/her in various dilemmas and create feelings of guilt.
Attention should be paid to personal areas
In healthy relationships, partners should have areas of separation and reunion. This can manifest itself in thoughts as well as activities. We should allow someone else to think differently than us and support this situation under all circumstances.
“I don't agree with your thoughts, but I will fully support your right to defend your thoughts”
Evelyn Beatrice Hall
Couple Time Should Not Be Missed
Couple time should be very flashy and like extreme activities to get away from the routine. It is not in our relationships. “Now, I'm here and listening to you.” All the moments when we can convey the message are very special. Even if our partner wants to change, sometimes a small feeling or thought within himself can become something that hinders him. You should respect that feeling and let him make the choice. iz.
Respect and Unconditional Acceptance
Although the outside world may often be far from unconditional acceptance, we should not keep our partner bound to a condition or change principle in our relationships. Every individual is special and valuable. We must support his self-esteem and ensure that his desire for change is for his own good, by talking openly and making him feel understood, without using manipulation methods.
Not Approaching Situations in Black and White
Life is our "gray area" therefore “This is a very bad situation!” in our relationships. Before saying this, we must establish balance, as in everything. Finding a middle ground with our partner without compromising our self-esteem and putting mutual effort into our relationship will enrich the relationship.
Being Both Me and Us
This part is often skipped in our relationships. We start having a relationship and suddenly we organize our needs according to the other person. Then, when we look at our own little world, we start to think that we give a lot of ourselves, but we don't get much. However, in relationships, we exist with our personal space and self and are accepted. Wanting to meet our individual and emotional needs is not selfish. Simply put, sometimes it's just a feeling of being understood. An unintended change can wear out our "self" in relationships.
Being able to say no
Sometimes, in some relationships, a common path may not be found and the issue of "change" can lead to a real crisis.
If you feel willing. You won't find it, and you give up some aspects of yourself for the happiness of your partner, knowing that you will be unhappy later... It is our most natural right to "Say No" to these boundary violations. Although this situation seems like a moment of crisis, it is possible to turn it into an opportunity and re-establish the relationship dynamic. We must be empathetic to our partner so that he understands why we say no, explain to him why we do not want change, and offer him the opportunity to understand us. It should not be forgotten that sometimes saying no can:
A Dancing Star Can Come Out of Chaos.
Nietzsche
“The only constant thing is change”
This saying, which is one of the most philosophical sentences in life that we can base on scientific evidence, e winks at us. As long as change is experienced with the mutual acceptance and desire of both parties, it can become a situation that opens new doors for us and adds color to our relationships. This situation can be overcome by filtering through our common filters, both individually and as a couple.
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