Some of us' desire for children goes back a long way. Even when we were children, we used to dream about our future child, saying, "I will treat him like this, I won't do this, he will be like this." These dreams were about trying to make our child "not be like us" by acting the opposite of how we were treated.
Some of us never had the desire to have children. Either we didn't feel ready, or we thought, "Have I become a child and I'm going to take care of a child?" One way or another, a small seed was thrown into our womb the day before. The seed grew, sprouted, and reached a position that could be felt. Emotions were confused, hormones changed, the body began to swell, and the pain increased. One day, he could no longer fit in and threw himself out. The woman asked herself, "How did I carry such a life inside my body?" Then long working hours began, endless crying spells, sleepless nights, the rapid dissipation of every burden with the slightest warmth...
The baby became the center of the house, a tiny person made everyone experience intense emotional transitions. Helplessness, pessimism, exhaustion, restlessness, happiness, inadequacy, grown-up, etc. lots of feelings. Everyone experienced these feelings differently, everyone embraced them differently. So, how could these complex emotions we experience change like this, even though the body and nature always change in the same order?
The answer is very simple. Our own childhood. Whatever emotion we experienced and coped with in our own childhood, whatever emotion we were blamed for, whichever emotion we were punished for, we approached the little one looking helplessly at us in line with these experiences. When our baby cried, some of us got angry, some of us felt helpless, some of us wanted to punish him. All these things we felt and did were in line with what we had put in our hearts from the past.
And as if these were not enough, experts came out and said, treat your child like this, don't do this, don't do that, no, you are doing wrong, no, you have done something wrong, etc. . There is no school for parenting, no one on earth knows how to parent properly. Parenting is driven by our own experiences and what has been done to us. The only guidance for parents is to heal their own wounds. I. To the injured parents..
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