When it comes to forgiveness, everyone knows that forgiveness is a self-helpful decision. But he thinks roughly as follows: "This is an act with such malicious intent and serious consequences that I cannot forgive it, that is, this is an exceptional situation." At this point, it is necessary to forgive. Because every time you don't forgive, you continue to experience the damage done to you.
For example, a car passing by you on the road at speed splashed muddy water on you. You'll probably get very angry, you say. You go right away, get changed, take a shower, and you'll probably forget about it. You must have had a similar experience. Can you forgive that driver? You get it out of your mental system and you don't care, but from now on you'll be more careful with cars while walking on the road.
Think about this. You had to stay out all day in that muddy dress that day. What a lousy day isn't it? You spend all day swearing at the driver.
That's exactly what unforgiveness is. You have been harmed and you cannot compensate for that damage from your own life, and naturally, you constantly focus on the person who did that harm. “This is unforgivable”
Every situation you say “This is unforgivable” creates a blockage in your life and hinders your progress. The fact that you have forgiven something that hurt you is proof that you are one step ahead of yesterday. In fact, by forgiving you are freed from the feeling of betrayal and a lot of space opens up in your mind.
Mostly; When it comes to forgiving, the thought of reintroducing the person concerned comes to life. Saying "How can I forgive the one who made this mistake to me" can mean "how can I trust him again". Separating it is very important. No one is recommending you to re-enter someone who has wronged you. Oh, he apologizes, he regrets it, and it has really changed. If you WANT it, you can take it into your life or not, that's not the issue. I'm talking about not carrying evil within you. Actually, to put it in colloquial speech, I say to you, “Release”.
You were walking in the woods. A snake bit you. Are you hostile to the snake? Or your snake Do you expect him to apologize? Do you hope to be friends with the snake? No, you just walk more carefully in the woods from now on. For you know that such is the nature of the snake. The same goes for humans. Someone who has wronged you actually makes you aware of his nature. You say, "hmm, there is such a situation in the nature of this person, so let me stay away from this person." Now you will say “but he does not act instinctively like a human and a snake, he does evil on purpose”, the truth of the matter is that he behaves like this by nature. If you pay attention to the person who wronged you, he probably did similar wrongs to other people besides you. So let the water jug break in the waterway.
Human beings act almost as instinctively as an animal. I'm not saying show understanding to those who do evil, a masochistic structure emerges here. Even those who do evil use this situation and the victim says, "but he suffered a lot in his childhood, he acts like this" look, you are not a psychologist and you cannot change someone who treats you persistently, what you need to do is to get away from that person and protect your boundaries. But do not forget that those who persistently do evil are truly unhappy people and are so unhappy that they do not hesitate to harm others for their own benefit. Because for them, "the world is a very bad place and the one who is vigilant wins" and if you have started to think like this after meeting such people, please shake it off and come to your senses. Resist poisoning and negative transformation by that person. The best thing to do is to know that there are all kinds of animals in the jungle, learn to protect yourself, and be excited to come across great experiences. That's all. In fact, one must be able to analyze the event in order to truly forgive someone. We cannot forgive until we understand what we are going through. It is difficult for us to forgive the other party, unless we admit our own mistakes and forgive ourselves. Therefore, be sure to consider the incident in detail and analyze both sides honestly.
If it's another problem, k her job thinks "I can't trust anyone after that incident, she stole my trust". When we are hurt by someone, our trust, sincerity and dreams are damaged, and even our physical energy decreases. Because our mind is constantly busy with that person, our performance and attention decrease. Look, if the mind is constantly thinking about a subject, there is something you have to see that you haven't solved yet, that's why the mind is warning you. Correct analysis is very important. Sometimes, a person says "I forgive you already", but after that day he becomes a completely different person and this is a negative pessimistic insecure self. This is the most serious damage. You have been poisoned and transformed by the person who hurt you. The only way to get rid of it is to throw that poison out of you.
Concepts such as trust and sincerity are very valuable and important. In fact, trust is serious business. In fact, we may not understand that trust is a serious business until our trust is broken once. Confidence flowing in by itself is a beautiful feeling, but it actually starts to give us some warnings in the process. It's better if we read those warnings correctly and in any case 99.5% confidence rather than 100%. Instead of trusting anyone again, please ask yourself:
1) Can I keep my boundaries in my relationships?
2) Can I take as much as I give in my relationships?
3) Can I read the possible risks in my relationships correctly or am I overly optimistic? ?
Now here is another situation. we certainly do not deserve any evil done to us. The perspective of self-blame is very troublesome and of no use. But we need to understand that lightning didn't hit us suddenly, someone did us a deliberate harm. In our spiritual structure, in our social relations, there must be a fugitive so that the person could enter through that fugitive. Discover this leak. When you notice this leak and strengthen your defense system, the evil done to you actually turns into good.
Lightning does not strike the same place twice. But a person can be shot more than once in the same place. You have lived. Have different people ever done similar harm to you? And you keep trying, hoping that maybe this time it will be different. You may have been very good, very innocent each time. Not even guilty z, but you have a leak, when you realize it and convert it, I guarantee that you will never experience such an event again.
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