Take a moment and think. “The other person constantly criticizes you, puts excessive pressure on you, tries to manage you, humiliates you, mocks you, constantly controls you, constantly shames you, holds you responsible for his own mistakes, constantly threatens to leave you, shows conditional love, makes decisions on your behalf, and scares you.” . What would you feel? Or how do you feel when a mother or father "does not show love to his child, responds with anger to every behavior he does, constantly insults and compares himself with others"? Is it going to happen? You may say that even the thought of it is frightening. When most of us hear the word abuse, we can easily understand what it is and often picture physical or sexual abuse. Especially when we hear about an incident of sexual or physical abuse, we picture the woman or child who was subjected to violence, raped or forced into prostitution. At the same time, we can react quickly and respond to this event with emotions such as anger, tension and sadness.
So, do the limits we set for sexual and physical abuse also include emotional abuse? Although we know that emotional abuse is a crime by law, unlike other types of abuse, it is more difficult to prove when committed. Perhaps many of us have been subjected to emotional abuse at some point in our lives and may not even know that this situation is abuse. It is very important to recognize emotional abuse. Not every unpleasant event that can happen with another person, an argument with your lover or spouse, or the reaction of the other party when you hurt someone, does not mean that you have been subjected to emotional abuse. At the same time, the cultural structure of the society we live in also affects whether we are subjected to emotional abuse or not. Emotional abuse can occur together with sexual and physical abuse, but it can also occur without harming anyone.
What does the abuser do in emotional abuse? First of all, he tends to constantly check where you are and what you are doing. So much so that you may experience anxiety even when you go to the market. He or she often calls or sends messages wanting to know where, when, and with whom you are. That's why you have , you are forced to return their calls instantly. Who the people in your phone book are, whom you send messages to, who you call, must be under constant control.
He/she wants to know the password of your social media accounts, and if you do not want to give it, he/she uses expressions like "what are you hiding from me, you are definitely up to something different". He constantly tends to humiliate you in front of others and constantly reveals your weaknesses. Name-calling, mocking, and when you react to his behavior, he responds with "You don't understand a joke." He puts the responsibility for his own emotional problems on you. If he is unhappy or anxious, it is because of you. His own ideas are always at the forefront and he wants you to think like him. He constantly wants you to be perfect, to make no mistakes, to be beautiful and kind. It can do things on your behalf without your knowledge. He has a threatening nature in every discussion. These and similar behaviors are the most obvious aspects of emotional abuse. When we examine the psychological ethics of emotional abuse; Emotional abuse experienced during childhood increases the lifetime risk of developing depressive disorder by 2.7 times for women, while this rate increases by 2.5 times for men. Studies have shown that those who experienced emotional abuse in childhood have a higher risk of lifelong depression. In another study, those who experience emotional abuse have a very high rate of introversion, social relations problems, self-confidence problems, suicidal tendencies and different mental problems. At the same time, those who were exposed to emotional abuse in childhood are more likely to become estranged from their families, develop antisocial behavior, become tense and angry, feel worthless, and become aggressive and maladaptive. In addition, those who have been exposed to emotional abuse since childhood are likely to face problems such as learning difficulties, attention problems, and failure in school, although they do not have any mental problems. It should not be forgotten that any form of abuse is unacceptable.
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