From the first moment you hold your baby in your arms, you are the only thing that connects with the world. Your little one, who starts to sit, then to crawl, and finally to walk, has the opportunity to get to know and explore himself and the environment with his own eyes. In this process of discovery, your baby, who needs to define himself and what belongs to him often, begins to use the words "I" and "mine" frequently. For your little explorer, there are targets to reach and lots of objects to explore. He begins to use the sense of control he has developed against all kinds of objects around him, almost as if he is the center of the world. This period, which covers the ages of 2-4, is called self-centered thinking. Your child protects his own space, identifies himself with the objects around him and does not want to share them with others. For this reason, the most common complaint of parents between the ages of 2-4 is that children do not know how to share. During this period, your child is afraid of losing the toy that someone else has taken, thinking that it will not return to him again, causing him to feel anger and anxiety.
How about learning to share? Should we share everything?
Like any emotion, sharing is not an innate trait. When children reach the necessary cognitive maturity, they will learn to share with observation and your guidance. However, while encouraging your child to share, it is useful to remind yourself that he has a personality and does not always have to share everything. While going to the playground, the child can choose toys from the box that he agrees to share in order to prevent any problems with other children from the beginning. Which of your animals would you like to give to your friend? The cow or the lamb?” With this behavior, our child will feel more secure knowing that they have the right to make choices and decisions.
To be a positive role model and to show examples of sharing in this process. You are quite important. Seeing that you are sharing an item as a parent, your child will see that when an item is given to someone else, it can be taken back, that he has the right to take it back whenever he wants, and that mutual trust and cooperation can be established thanks to sharing. We Wouldn't Want It, Would We?
However, when someone does not choose to share their toy with them, they also need to learn to cope with the disappointment and sadness they experience. In this difficult situation, "You are upset/angry because your friend did not share his toy" etc. as support. You can help them make sense of their feelings. Children who share their toys just because the other person is crying creates the perception that nobody cares about their feelings and that the feelings of others are more important than them, and this causes self-esteem and self-confidence to be damaged over time. and begins to see their disadvantages more clearly and begins to regulate their behavior accordingly. Generally, at the age of 5-6, they have learned to share and play by cooperating in the group.
If this skill has not been acquired yet in primary school age, it may be useful to get support from an expert.
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