There are 8 different basic emotions that people experience. Happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, anger, interest, disgust, shame. It is very natural for every person to experience these basic emotions. No one wants to experience negative emotions, especially when they feel anger. Since parents feel helpless and do not know what to do, they respond with anger to their children when they are angry. The important point here is that anger is a normal emotion, just like other emotions. There are some developmental periods, such as the age of 2, when children realize that their body is different from their mother's and begin to establish their own identity.
So, in what situations does the child feel anger?
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If children do not have adequate social environments, they will not feel fulfilled
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When children who do not learn boundaries are hindered in social environments in families where everything the child wants is done
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In the feeling of helplessness that comes with failure
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In environments where he thinks he is not loved
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With his sibling and his parents If he thinks he doesn't want him anymore
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If he is experiencing peer bullying
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If his family's expectations are more than the child can do
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If the child is constantly criticized by his family but has no communication with his family other than warning and telling expectations
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If parents cannot control their own anger
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In children who are exposed to too much screens
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The way parents love can sometimes be violent, in this case if the child has learned that love equals violence
Anger will arise. As can be understood from these items, anger is actually just a result, and in therapy, we investigate the underlying reasons for this anger and then try to eliminate the areas that are problematic for the child.
What should be done during and after children's moments of anger?
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Explaining to children when they are angry will not be enough because they will not listen
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With clearer questions such as what would you like to happen after the anger passes or what would eliminate the anger bubble? Trying to understand them
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Playing with emotions and helping children recognize their emotions helps them to calm down
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Parents should learn their own anger control. It contributes to being a role model for children
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Parents can apply the 3d rule. First, stopping and calming down in their own moments of anger, then questioning what makes them angry at that moment, and then thinking about what they would see if they watched their families from outside will help them understand the events better.
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To identify particularly angering moments and take precautions in advance
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Think about what the emotional needs of children might be
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