Curiosity is one of the most important things in children... Everything about the world they are born into arouses interest in them. They ask many questions about the place they are in, they want to discover its boundaries,
themselves and others. Parents often patiently answer endless questions to satisfy their child's curiosity. However, when it comes to sexuality, it is seen that most parents step back, resort to evasive answers, and provide incorrect/incomplete information. However, sexuality, which is a natural and inevitable part of human development
is not a subject that can be ignored, its teaching left to later times, or glossed over with superficial answers
>Providing sexual education appropriate to the child's age and development in early childhood has many benefits. Perhaps the most important of these is that the child learns to respect both his own body and that of the opposite sex
and thus be able to establish healthy relationships
in his adult life. A child/person who receives sexual education step by step and in accordance with his/her age will be balanced in his/her relationships with the opposite sex in his/her later life. (Tuzcuoğlu, Tuzcuoğlu, 2004) By learning about his/her own body, the child/person He will know his responsibilities and his self-confidence will increase as his knowledge increases. In addition, receiving appropriate and correct sexual education from the child's parents will protect the child from internalizing false information about sexuality that he/she hears from the environment or through technological devices that are becoming increasingly difficult to control. /p>
In addition, informing the child about the confidentiality and privateness of private parts is one of the primary protective measures against sexual
abuse.
The attitude reflected by the parents to the child regarding sexuality, It determines whether the child will consult them in cases where he/she is confused in this respect. If the parents have a strict attitude about sexuality or give a superficial answer; The child will try to learn what he wonders about this subject in a different way, and perhaps this way will be unhealthy for his development
. For this reason, parents are They should approach their children
in a democratic manner on issues related to the child's age, and should not refrain from guiding them with answers
appropriate to the child's age.
Questions about sexuality in children are generally answered around the age of 3. It starts with the differences between genders.
Children begin to ask questions when they distinguish the anatomical differences between boys and girls. In the face of these questions, shaming the child
and saying "you are young, you will learn when you grow up". Answering like this and trying to silence
are wrong parental attitudes. Instead, satisfying the child's
curiosity with answers appropriate to the child's age will both strengthen the child's communication with his/her parent and prevent him/her from satisfying this curiosity in different and wrong ways.
It is not correct to give false, unrealistic information about sexuality to a child.
For example, when asked where the children come from, the answer is "brought by storks",
"they were taken from the clinic". Such answers should not be given. In such a situation, the little child may want his sibling to be left where he was taken whenever
he gets angry, and at the same time, he may fear that he will be left where he was taken whenever he
makes his parents angry. (Yılmaz, 2009, ed. Deniz)
p>
To a child who asks where children come from, "There is a special and safe baby nest in the mother's womb, they live and grow there." When the time comes, they come out of the mother."
An answer can be given as follows.
Parents are worried that their child's questions may be related to sexual intercourse
. However, in the preschool period, children are far from asking questions about this. They
are mostly curious and want to know where babies come from, why genital organs are different
in boys and girls, how the baby enters and exits the mother's womb.
These are quite normal questions and should not be avoided to answer.
Another concern of parents is that if such questions are answered, the child's curiosity will be further stimulated and he/she may want to apply them. However It should not be forgotten that the child's curiosity will be stimulated even more in cases where he cannot find answers to his questions, and that he may express the questions he cannot get answers to through behavior. For example, a boy who is not informed about these
issues may try to lift the skirt of a girl who comes to his house as a guest, and try to find an answer to the question in his mind
in this way. At this point, the appropriate response might be: Parent: “You wonder why your daughters are different from you. After saying "I would have told you if you asked," he explains
and then explains in clear terms that everyone's body is unique.
If he has other questions, he says that they can learn by asking. The child, whose curiosity is satisfied and who is not accused unnecessarily
, does not hesitate to direct his next questions to his parents. (Yörükoğlu,
1984)
The child does not ask a question for which he is not ready. The questions he asks are one by one and spaced out
. (Bulut, 1998) A parent does not have to immediately answer a question that he/she does not know how to answer. "I don't know this exactly either, but I will research and find out for you." An answer like this will help the child to feel that the questions he asks are valued
and to reinforce his sense of trust, to not hesitate to ask his questions to his parents
, and to be patient until he learns the question he asks from his parents.
However, the parent should not forget his promise and should answer the child's question
as soon as possible.
The answers given by the parents should cover the information that the child needs, without going into detail
. For example, a girl who asks why she doesn't have a penis says to her child, "Girls and boys were created separately." Girls have vaginas and boys have penises
" An answer like this will be sufficient.
Another issue that parents worry about is masturbation in the child. This is not a situation to be afraid of
. However, what needs to be taken into consideration here is to pay attention to the place and frequency where the child masturbates. The child may perform this action for a variety of reasons.
This action is more It serves purposes such as making the child want to discover himself, be curious, and try to get emotional pleasure. According to research, it is more common among children who are neglected in tactile and emotional aspects. Attitudes such as scolding, punishing and shaming in the face of this behavior are extremely wrong
from a pedagogical perspective. These attitudes will cause the child to feel guilty and create conflict in his/her psyche. If the child masturbates, it is appropriate for the parents to distract the child with a different activity
. In this way, the child's behavior is expected to disappear after a while. However, if this behavior continues frequently and is done in public places, the parents' attitudes may change, and an attempt should be made to discover what is disturbing the child's psyche (parents' divorce, sibling jealousy, etc.). /p>
leaving alone for long periods of time, etc.) and solutions may need to be produced.
When necessary, you should not hesitate to get support from an expert.
Psych. Selen MORAY
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