We are all going through a very difficult, uncertain and anxiety-filled process right now. Not going to work may bring financial difficulties for parents, and it may increase health concerns for those who have to go to work... While we keep these on the side, we need to keep in mind that children are more bored than their parents.
How to help children in this process? There were many valuable shares on topics such as what our approach should be, how we should explain it and what we should do. But before I talk about these, I want to talk about something we may have overlooked: 'Children's ability to coregulate'. In other words, by looking at us, our children develop coping mechanisms similar to how we deal with anxiety, uncertainty and problems. Of course, explaining this period to children and things to do at home are of great importance, but if the parent cannot control his anxiety at all and his own emotions and behaviors are out of his control, trying to teach the child to manage his anxiety will be a wasted effort. I suggest that the parent first look at what he can do for himself, try to control his own anxiety, and spend time on things that make him happy; These can even be things as simple as reading a favorite book or drinking a coffee on the balcony that make us happy.
Now, after the parents have done these, let's look at how they can explain this pandemic to their children. It is very important that the explanation suits the child's age and developmental period. In addition, it is necessary to take the child's personality into consideration. There will be a difference between a more detailed explanation you give to a very curious child, and an explanation you give to a more sensitive child, where you focus more on his/her emotions. In general terms, 'A virus has recently come to our country, it is similar to the ones that come when our nose runs and our throat hurts, but it causes us to get sick a little worse and this virus loves to spread from hand to hand. You can make a statement like "It has spread widely in our country now and we will not leave our homes for a while to protect ourselves..." After this explanation, your child may ask questions. Among the questions we hear most often are: 'Will something happen to you? Will something happen to my grandmother or grandfather? "Will this happen? When will these events end?" I believe it is important not to give very clear answers to these questions; Because none of us actually have very clear answers on this issue. That's why we can give more rounded answers. Answers such as 'I think nothing will happen to me because I have taken all the precautions, your grandmother and grandfather do not leave the house, I think they will be fine too, doctors are trying to find a vaccine and I believe this process will be short' will be much more honest answers and will ensure the continuation of trust within the family.
We may also encounter negative behaviors in children during the quarantine period. Crying fits, tantrums and sometimes aggressive behavior may occur. In such situations, it is useful to try to stay calm and try to understand the reason first. The child may not just be reacting that way to an event that is happening at that moment. When we think more broadly, he has been prevented from going to school, going to the park, seeing his friends for a while, and while trying to cope with these, when the parent restricts anything more (such as turning off the television, telling him to finish the game and start studying), the child not only does this, but also everything that he has been prevented until that moment. It may be reacting to the total. Moreover, sometimes the child may not even know what he is crying about. If the child allows it, hugging him/her by touching his skin can be the first step, and then you can reflect his feelings; Like 'I know you are very sad right now, you are very angry right now because you are not allowed to go out, I know it will pass...'. The important thing is to reflect the child's feelings and make him understand that he is accepted and understood. Help him release the tension within him, do not try to suppress it. Embodying negative emotions can also be an option. Questions such as 'Close your eyes, what kind of feeling is this, what color do you think it is, where in your body do you feel it?' may be helpful. You can talk about the picture, or if the child wants, you can make the picture funny (like drawing a funny hat on the virus's head).
Read: 0
