Children often want siblings from their parents. Because they are tired of being alone. They expect him to be their friend, play games with him, and go to the park together. The parents find these wishes of their children justified and give birth to the second child. The child waits with great excitement for his sibling to be born in order to realize all these dreams. But after his brother was born, he was greatly disappointed. Nothing goes the way he wants. Everyone takes care of their sibling, their mother makes them sleep next to them, things are bought for their sibling, their own old clothes and belongings are given to their sibling, and people come to see their sibling. The child begins to share his parents, who are the most valuable to him, with someone else, and from the child's perspective, his parents even begin to love his sibling more and take more care of him. The child no longer feels loved as much as before. While all this is happening, the child is deeply shaken. For this reason, in order to attract attention and test the love of their parents, the child; He makes unnecessary demands, gets spoiled, cries, is rude to his brother, and tries to get into his brother's role. Because he thinks that if he is like him, he will receive the same attention given to him. This is why the babyish speech, behavior and even bedwetting observed by families occur. This is called behavioral problems by them and makes them angry. In this process, the child again does not receive the attention he expects. One of the things that parents complain about the most is that they say 'he really wanted to have a sibling, but now he is jealous and acting strangely'.
Mistakes Parents Make
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Before giving birth to the baby, not explaining to the child what a sibling is, how they should be cared for and what awaits them; Thus, the child will not know what awaits his sibling when he is born and how he should behave. For this reason, he will enter into a competition with his brother and display behavioral disorders. To avoid this situation, explain to the child what kind of a process he went through in infancy and that his sibling will go through the same process like him.
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After giving birth, all the attention should be on the baby. bread; Since a newly born baby needs care, parents and other family members will draw attention to him/her. For this reason, the interest in the child decreases and he/she will feel unloved.
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Decreasing the interest in the child compared to before; What parents need to do here is to continue to show the same level of interest in the child as they did before the sibling was born. In this way, his brother will not take his place.
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To avoid jealousy, the normal attention and love shown to the child should be exceeded; One of the mistakes parents make is to show more love and attention than usual to avoid jealousy after their sibling is born. This situation will create jealousy between siblings. The same attention should be continued after birth as it was before birth.
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Creating a competitive environment such as 'I love you more' when alone with the child; To prevent the child from getting upset, parents say words that will lead to competition, such as 'I love you more'. This word, which causes competition among children, can also lead to disappointment. Children do not believe in the realism of this and even though they do not make you feel it, they were aware of every situation going on around them.
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Giving the child's belongings to his sibling without permission; Parents will naturally want to give their clothes and old belongings that are too small for the child to their sibling. But even though he is a child, they should not forget that he is also an individual. Adult individuals do not like their belongings to be taken and given to someone else, so when the child's belongings are given to his or her sibling, the child must be asked and his/her permission must be obtained.
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Making comparisons between siblings; Comparisons made between siblings are as wrong as comparisons made with neighbor children. The thing to remember here is; Every child is special and each has different abilities and needs. Therefore, parents need to observe their children well and meet their needs accordingly.
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Giving the responsibility of the sibling to the child; We often hear sentences such as 'you are the older sister/brother, so you need to take care of your sibling' from parents' mouths. This situation causes the child to mature. He doesn't, on the contrary, his brother starts to become repulsive to him. Even though she is a big sister/brother, it should not be forgotten that she is a child.
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Taking sides when there are arguments; It is very normal for there to be arguments and fights between siblings. Parents should not intervene in discussions as long as they do not cross the line. What to pay attention to when you feel that you are over it; is to be fair. Since the little one is more vulnerable, parents generally want to protect him, but the important thing here is that parents treat both of them the same way.
When Should Support Be Seen?
The child tries to harm his sibling or a regression in the child; If situations such as thumb sucking, bedwetting, baby talk and introversion begin to occur, professional support must be sought.
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