A significant portion of our population reveals that they have experienced any psychiatric problem at some point or throughout their lives. Anxiety disorders are one of these. The first symptoms of anxiety disorder observed in children are 'specific phobia' and 'separation anxiety'. These are followed by 'selective mutism' and 'performance anxiety'. Although these disorders are thought to be easily treated when examined one by one, many treatment methods actually cause these disorders to change shape. If we plan a treatment for only the fear of needles for a child who is afraid of needles as a specific phobia, the child's fear of needles will disappear within 8-12 sessions. However, there is a strong possibility that this disorder will recur later and change shape (for example, fear of the dark).
We all know that raising children is the most difficult and rewarding job in the world. In many cultures, children are thought to be innocent and sinless, but are children really sinless? What is the reason for these behavioral disorders in children?
The first and most important reason for behavior in children is genetic transmission. When evaluating a child, every mental health professional obtains detailed information about the personality and childhood of the child's parents. As a matter of fact, the rate of ADHD in parents of children with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is quite high. Another event like this is also valid for anxiety.
The results of my individual observations and literature review draw attention to the genetic transmission of anxiety disorders in children. An anxious mother is more effective in this process. The common feature of most of the anxiety disorder cases (separation anxiety, specific phobia, performance anxiety, panic attack, etc.) I saw was that they came from anxious mothers.
Although children have genetically inherited anxious structures, most of the anxiety can be reinforced with learning. If the child grows up in an anxious home when he is born, and his parents (especially the mother) are often worried and have an anxious nature, it would be wrong to expect these children to grow up calmly. Because the child will constantly see anxiety from his family and realize that this is normal.
As a clinician, he will realize that this is normal. If I had to make an inference; Anxiety is learned both genetically and through modeling. Since genetic transmission is not an area that can be prevented and that will benefit my readers, I would like to share with my readers what can be done in this article.
Anxious Mother
Feeding her children with vitamin pills so that they do not get sick all the time , who has problems because they cannot solve a problem, who takes extreme care to avoid the slightest nutritional problem, who monitors their sleep with a watch but has extreme problems when they do not comply with it, etc. Mothers like these set a very good example for anxious mothers.
I think that the anxious mother is praised in Turkish society.
- 'Oh, I do not know motherhood better than Ayşe's motherhood. A perfect mother's daughter, Fatma is a wonderful girl; 'She doesn't get a single bad grade, she is well-mannered, moral, knows how to sit down and get up, does not fail to respect elders, and cooks well'.
Here is a girl who has been brought up well according to Turkish society. When we look at these examples, we can all see what a well-raised girl Fatma was, but no one could have paid as much for this as Ms. Ayşe. Because he went through perfect difficulties until he raised the perfect child. Even though She tried to raise this child, she was left with only what she tried. Because no child can be perfect!.
The desire to raise perfect children and to be the perfect parent (especially a mother) is highly demanded in our society. I think the main reason for this is our own shortcomings. I often observe parents' efforts to exaggerately compensate for the deficiencies that they cannot find in their own parents.
Before looking at the image of the anxious parent, we should not forget that the anxious parent was also raised by a parent. Parents cannot be held solely responsible for the events. In addition, today's stress and environmental factors are another factor that will increase people's anxiety level.
Of course, trying to be the perfect parent is not a malicious behavior, but it is an impossible attitude. As a matter of fact, what is expected from children is the desire to be the perfect child. so do it comparisons made. Aren't there those comparisons that hurt people the most? 'Look at Ayşe's daughter, how good she is, I wish you were like her.' Unfortunately, this attitude will greatly reduce the child's self-perception and make him wonder: Am I useless? Will there be nothing I can do? How can I please my mother and father? Am I valuable? As a result of these attitudes, the child will not only develop negative feelings about himself, but also negative attitudes and behaviors towards his parents. This can lead to behavioral disorders (for example, aggressive attitudes), which I will explain in another article.
The consequences of attitudes often result in anxiety. I have met many mothers who never want to leave their children, but who do not even realize it themselves, and these mothers often apply to me with the complaint of Mr. Emin that their children do not want to go to school. My observation in most cases was that mothers never gave their children the opportunity to leave them. Since children are not securely attached to their mothers, they do not want to separate from their mothers, and this is first observed when they start school around the age of seven. The child does not want to leave his mother and go to school. That's why he cries and clings to his mother. Almost all of us have observed this attitude. The child does not want to face the anxiety of separation from his mother and often states that he does not want to go to school.
In recent years, the deterioration in the education system and the fact that families attach more importance to academic performance trigger increasing performance anxiety in children and adolescents. Families directly see their children as racehorses and engage in exaggerated training. However, the human soul is not a machine. The desired performance cannot be achieved with commands such as study, memorize, and learn. In other words, children must first be psychologically ready to study.
University exams give us a very good answer to how wrong these attitudes are. The number of students taking the university exams increases every year, and the number of students who score zero points and fail to pass the threshold is also increasing. University scores are decreasing. But the kids are behind They spend less time with their siblings and socialize less. Psychological pressure on children and the effect of psychological factors should not be overlooked here.
Treatment
Therapy will vary depending on the child, family, age and opportunities. While familial (actual) therapy is very important for children between the ages of 3 and 10, it is less important for children between the ages of 10 and 15, and it should be structured as much as possible for children over the age of 15.
In some divorced or bereaved families, the father or mother Finding the figure can be difficult. Choosing a therapist is very important here. In my opinion, it would be beneficial to work with the figure that children need. However, there is no rule that it will always be like this.
Unfortunately, one of the most painful aspects of our country is that a significant part of the population cannot benefit from therapy fees. In most cases where therapy is not available, children are provided with medication. Medication is a form of treatment that I never recommend to be used in children unless it is possible (it may be essential in cases such as ADHD, autism, etc.). Psychiatric treatment and psychotherapy should be carried out together and it is recommended to stop drug treatment as soon as possible. Drug therapy is an important issue and it is definitely not recommended to use or discontinue it except by a child psychiatrist.
In most children, the intervention that needs to be done is to take the family (especially the mother) and the child into therapy together. Choosing child-centered play therapy and actual therapy as types of therapy will be very useful.
Conclusion
It should not be forgotten that since the child is not yet an adult, unless the family or the environment in which the child lives is changed, it is unlikely that the therapy to be given to the child will yield results. It is not possible. Even if it is achieved, it cannot be expected to be permanent.
The formation of personality and the type of spiritual structure a person will have are related to the genes carried and how childhood is spent. Just as we pay attention to the physical needs of our children, we need to pay equal attention to the spiritual development of our children. There is no child with or without problems. In every individual As is the case, certain problems will be observed in every child. In this case, there should be no alarm and support should be sought from a mental health professional.
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