Domestic violence, harassment, incest, murder!
What is happening in our safest shelter?
Where did all this evil come from?
Has morality collapsed?
Is all this a social madness?
Yes, the incredible events we encounter under the influence of the media make us all uneasy.
The concept of "FAMILY", which we believe to be the strongest and most unshakable, is changing in today's society, and failure to foresee the transformation and be prepared brings with it losses.
Our "Sacred Institution", which cannot keep up with modernity as it is, is trying to survive in this system on the one hand, with the deterioration of the traditional family structure and the dissolution of ties, and on the other hand, it is experiencing the anxiety of disintegration.
What is heard every day in the press, in the news or in increasing conversations: “How did we get to this point!” “Where are the people of this country going!” “Are our morals and values disappearing!” increases their complaints. There is a high degree of truth in this. Because the boundaries of our family, protected by values and beliefs like a fortress, have been dissolved, and the question of how to restructure it has not yet been answered.
First of all, we must accept that change is inevitable. According to the second law of thermodynamics (entropy), everything that exists moves in one direction, from absolute order to disorder and chaos. For this reason, man is given will and responsibility and is expected to maintain order with a conscious effort. There are universal and human laws that determine the area of responsibility. Borders are powerful elements that restrain this chaos. So, it is necessary to start with the question of where the borders begin and where they end.
Borders begin with our embrace from the moment we are born, and continue to form throughout life. Although the concept of border is understood as being limited or restricted, on the contrary, it is an area of freedom. Boundaries that clarify where I end and the other begins, what I am and am not responsible for, what I should and should not do, make our lives easier. In traditional society, the intertwined boundaries of ceremony, religious teachings, personal rights, customs, shamelessness, matters of the heart, and attitudes arising from fear and anxiety are defined as where and what kind of attitude to display. It makes our work difficult. For this reason, we have heard of many cases where people were given the will of a clergyman and were victimized. Or that people are married off at a young age because it is a tradition. Thus, we came to the point where "the road to hell is paved with goodness" and looked at the grievances with regret. After so many cases of child abuse, should we teach children the limits of their bodies? It is not known whether it is more problematic for us to say that he is a child, he is very cute, he doesn't understand, and let him kiss and pinch anyone, but we should put aside learning by being a victim and try to be foresighted by gaining knowledge.
The most important duty of the state in modern societies is social state support. is to create a system that can protect the rights of individual individuals. Our duty is to understand and evaluate life, events and people more consciously and carefully.
SOCIO-CULTURAL DIMENSION OF DISSOLVENCY
"The Grape Darkens One by One"
As we move from the Traditional-Community Society to the Modern-Society Society, various disintegrations and decays make the society in general hesitate. to ignore, ignore or rebel while dragging; Resisting change by holding on to the existing one has not worked, and rebelling against the dictates of the world that has turned into a global village has remained humorous, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. The gap between the new generations, who quickly adapted to change, and the previous ones has widened, and atomization has fragmented the unity. For example, despite the difference between the older child whose mobile phone was taken away when he reached high school, the middle child who was allowed to play computer games with a CD for short periods of time, and the sibling who plays online games that are almost impossible to monitor and control, the children are members of the same family.
When we cannot tolerate what is imposed from outside with a strong reference, the values we have lose their function.
It is necessary to consciously adapt to change without losing values.
When faced with an element of abuse or violence, saying "these are all immoral things coming from the West" and praising the past and sighing "doesn't serve our purpose, nor is it fair." Because in unregistered statistics, domestic abuse was detected in one in ten families, regardless of culture, belief, region and many other factors. ir. The fact that it has been heard so much lately does not mean that it has increased, but that it has come to light. In this case, it is not appropriate to attribute the decay only to the outside, but it also arises from lack of air, that is, the disadvantages of a closed society. Just as extreme egocentrism in the West harms society, the imposing attitude of the East, which ignores the individual and his individual needs, is just as dangerous. Because man's innate existential need is both "togetherness" and "individuality".
"An arm can be broken but it remains in the sleeve", I love and beat my wife and child at the same time", "If he did it, he knows something", Into the family Unhealthy systems are suppressed and their detection and solution are delayed with approaches such as "can't be interfered with", "Woman to marry - woman to have fun with", "She is religious, it won't do any harm", "This is how it goes", "We saw it like this in our family". The youth of fifty years later will have a common belief, value, geography, etc. In our world, which is predicted to live without perception, the number of children from religious families who are turning to deism is increasing significantly. This means that the system that we inherited from our family is not functional in the generations after us. Whether we want it or not, in order not to be thrown away by change as it drags us, we learn to surf, that is, to be adaptive (to adapt to the new situation without losing our own values) instead of taking what is imposed as it is and assimilating (Losing our own essence, inhibiting our own lifestyle, assimilating other selves and living like them). ) is realistic and functional. Tradition is neither entirely good nor innovation entirely bad. Lack of awareness, that is, lack of knowledge and equipment, which cannot establish the connections here in a healthy way, is the real problem.
PSYCHOLOGICAL DIMENSION OF DISSOLVATION
When dealing with the unfortunate events within the family psychologically, it is necessary to open two headings. The first of these is psychopathology, and the second is psychological development.
Failing to identify people with psychopathological, that is, abnormal, psychological states that require treatment and not directing them to treatment is an important reason why such events continue to expand. Especially people with personality disorders try to reduce their illness symptoms to normal reactions such as being angry, introverted, unbalanced, and angry. It causes serious damage to the bee. In the case that remained on the agenda for a long time, "shared paranoid disorder", which is envisaged in the person who is responsible for events leading to violence, incest and murder, affecting those around him, is a serious disease that disrupts the ability to evaluate reality and imposes thoughts that do not correspond to reality to the affected person, which cannot be changed by logical discussion. . The situation that affects his delusions to the extent that he thinks he has superior powers and leads those around him to commit evil acts, even murder, is not entirely a moral problem, but the lack of awareness to distinguish between sick and normal people, that is, ignorance.
The origin of such diseases is generally unhealthy parental attitudes and environmental conditions in early childhood. Later, trauma may cause it. These types of patients tend to manipulate and manipulate the environment and disrupt their psychology by masking their illnesses and even creating the perception of victims and victims through them. There are a significant number of them in society. While a person called an introvert may have a psychotic or antisocial disorder, a person described as flirtatious or inconsistent may have a borderline or bipolar disorder. Especially, while the symptoms of narcissistic personality structure or disorder, which is very common, are dismissed as heavy brother, picky, and does not like everything easily, the harm to others and themselves continues to increase.
Psychological development, on the other hand, is a matter of the human child receiving support in accordance with its developmental stages, month by month and year by year, starting from birth, and being able to form a healthy self. If there is a healthy self, everything else will be healthy too. Here, the parent must have walked the journey of self for a long time and must be able to meet the needs and areas required for the child to be himself.
EDUCATIONAL DIMENSION OF DISSOLVATION
The origin of problems and solutions is psychoeducation and general education. While congresses are held on how to get yield from even a wheat seed, the fate of the human child is left to uncertain and uncanny processes. While we will serve as an example and guide to new generations in the context of values in the development of their identity and personality, we are still struggling with the problems of unfulfilled needs or wounds in our childhood and the helplessness of socio-economic deadlocks. We are struggling with this. In a society where the state and families still do not attach sufficient importance to education, the ground seems slippery for everyone. Before teaching dates, numbers and competition to children and young people, we should learn about "HUMAN", its potential, its characteristics, the functioning of the mind, how to use its spiritual and mental powers in life, how to gain and maintain self-confidence and self-worth, how to establish and maintain healthy relationships, how to manage the economy. and how to live a life without giving up on yourself and your dignity, despite everything, should be taught based on how valuable it is.
Characters who are not brought up in a well-equipped state have difficulty in displaying a healthy personality. They remain raw, rough, dysfunctional, like an uncut diamond, or like polished imitations... As a result, life consists of duality, that is, the coexistence of opposites. We must be armed with knowledge and wisdom to avoid getting lost in the shadows, to fight the darkness, and to minimize the harm. The stronger roots we give in this world, the more healthy branches and fruits we will have. And we will not be scattered, deceived, deceived, or victimized, and will live a life that suits our existence, not as garbage dragged by that rain and flood, but like the strong forests and mountains that give strength to the world.
So what is it?
Everything starts and continues with me, with me building myself solidly, taking my responsibilities and building my life with kindness and patience. Family and society continue in strength and harmony with the unity of such individuals.
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