It will not be surprising that when asked what masculinity is, the most frequently heard answers are "having a penis" or, when we want to express it in more scientific ways, "having an XY chromosome". When we say men and masculinity, what most of us think of are differences based on biology. So, are differences based solely on biology sufficient to define masculinity?
Many differences are observed in individuals starting from conception. The first of these biological differences is chromosome combination. Hormonal differences that come with the XY chromosome begin to have an impact on personality and gender from birth. In fact, while all fetuses begin to develop as females, the male hormone testosterone, which comes with the Y chromosome, begins to work to reveal gender differences. Testosterone, also known as the male hormone, is said to be one of the most important factors governing sexuality. We can also call this hormone the chemical memory of men. Testosterone hormone is very effective in the formation of male-specific sexual character. However, research shows that this strategic hormone, which is constantly secreted as it is thought, is not the only and primary factor related to the values attributed to men in our society, such as sexuality, power and aggression. It can be said that there is a differentiation between men and women through genes and hormones, but it would not be correct to say that our behaviors and all our role distribution in social, sexual and couple relationships are under the control of hormones. Here, we must include social and familial factors, and when it comes to male or female sexuality, we must also consider factors other than what our biology brings. In other words, we can say that the roles attributed to men and masculinity are often determined socially, familially and sometimes even arbitrarily.
The terms sex and gender appear in the literature. While “Sex” refers to biological gender, “Gender” describes gender roles. It is certain that gender and gender stereotypes affect all aspects of life and relationships, as well as romantic relationships. Stereotypes about romantic relationships and sexuality, especially about what a heterosexual relationship should be like, It gives very clear messages.
When it comes to the subject of sexuality, a definition can be made as follows: Sexuality is sometimes the most lagging behind and most neglected area of social and psychological function, and sometimes it is placed in a corner of honor and can affect life when it is disrupted. It is a multifaceted phenomenon that is considered the biggest culprit of the pathological structure, is sometimes banned for fear that even talking about it may affect social dynamics, and sometimes takes on a glorified and mysterious identity by filtering into myths and belief systems.
Sexual behavior varies and is determined by a complex relationship of many factors. It is affected by a person's relationships with others, living conditions and the culture in which he lives. The individual's sexuality and his entire personality are intertwined and it is not possible to address sexuality alone.
So where do sexual problems originate from and why do we hear about these problems more today than in the past? In fact, we can say that the search for help to solve sexual problems has increased in recent years. In other words, we can say that rather than increasing sexual problems, social attitudes towards sexuality have changed and seeking help has become easier.
Sexuality, which is shaped by the interaction of psychological, social and biological variables, is an inhibition in one of these components. It may lose its function. It has been observed that individuals' tendencies, beliefs, and incorrectly formed concepts in their thoughts play a role in the formation and continuation of sexual dysfunction. The most obvious features of these false beliefs are especially displayed in jokes, jokes, daily press and pornographic publications about sexuality. Many people have inadequate or no sexual education. Lack of knowledge about sexuality and sensitivity to anything sexual makes people sensitive to messages coming from different sources, especially the media or equally uninformed people. For example, expecting men to be dominant is a well-known stereotype that prevails in our country. This traditional emphasis causes men to worry about being dominant in the relationship. We can think that it affects the role attitude characteristics in the relationship and the sexual or emotional behavior towards the partner.
Sexuality can become a fearful conflict under the magnifying glass of taboos, negative thoughts and beliefs, and according to some beliefs. Every sexual behavior is considered bad in terms of pleasure and sacred in terms of reproduction. When we look at it, we can see that this belief is widespread in our society.
When we look at marriage and sexual harmony, it was found by Rust and his friends that the relationship between happiness and sexuality in marriage is much stronger in men than in women. It has been suggested that premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, especially in men, are more effective in terms of marital unhappiness than orgasmic dysfunction and vaginismus in women. It would not be wrong to say that the adequacy of sexual function and satisfaction decreases in a relationship that is not completed with emotional closeness and thought sharing.
To summarize; Sexuality is a multi-faceted, multi-layered phenomenon that is also extremely easy to disrupt. When you have a problem in this regard, the source of this may be your relationship with your partner and the patterns you have formed, gender stereotypes, and the beliefs that your family or society has consciously or unconsciously added to your personality. Unless there is a biological problem, we can say that this is psychological and will lose its continuity when psychological support is received.
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