MYTHS END MARRIAGE!
Myth; It is a set of thoughts, beliefs and habits that are not based on scientific data, whose reality cannot be proven, and are attributed to the general society. For example; The idea that "a person who loves his wife does whatever he says and never upsets her" is a marriage myth. This thought reflects an unrealistic thought and belief.
Myths; It's not just in marriages. In general, they occur frequently in all areas of life. But today I want to discuss the aspect of the myths regarding marriage. Because people's myths about marriage lead to problems in marriage and the disintegration of the family institution, which is the cornerstone of society.
It is natural for people to have thoughts, beliefs and preferences regarding marriage. The growing environment and education level are effective in the formation of these thoughts and beliefs. The problem is; Myths that reflect a person's preferences are perceived as obligations and other people are expected to act according to this obligation. In the example given above, a person who has the myth that 'a person who loves his spouse does everything he says and never upsets her'; He will act according to this belief and when he sees behavior from his partner that he does not prefer, he will blame his spouse and think that his spouse does not love him enough.
How realistic is such a myth?
How difficult is marriage for the spouse of a person who has this myth?
I would like to give some examples of common myths about marriage.
“A person who loves his spouse will not make him sad. He does everything he says.”
This myth is an unrealistic idea. No matter how much a person loves his spouse, he may occasionally act in ways that the spouse does not prefer. At most, it would be a machine that carries out every command and does everything it is told. It is not possible for a person to always do everything his wife says.
“If a person is happy in his marriage, he does not need a friend..”
Even if a person feels happy in his marriage, he does not need a friend. It has a different place. A spouse cannot replace a friend. Sharing with a spouse is one thing, sharing with a friend is another.
“Having children will end the problems in marriage.”
Another unrealistic way of thinking. Problems between couples If they do, it is not right to expect the solution to the problems by just having a baby without trying to solve the problems. On the contrary, having a baby while the problems continue may cause the problems to increase even more.
“A marriage in which there are arguments is bad.”
Wherever there are people, arguments and conflicts occur. It is natural to experience. There is no marriage without arguments or problems. On the contrary, if there are no problems in a marriage, it is necessary to worry about the existence of serious problems in that marriage. The important thing is not to hope for a problem-free marriage, but to strive to solve problems in a healthy way.
“The woman should cook the food at home.”
There is no such obligation. Who cooks the meal at home and who does not may vary depending on the cooperation between the spouses. It is not an obligation for a woman to cook, it is a choice. Sometimes a woman can cook a meal, sometimes a man can cook it.
In summary, the point I want to emphasize is; The beliefs a person has in marriage are not 100% absolute truths. Everything that is not absolutely true can change. Therefore, it is necessary to stop perceiving unrealistic beliefs as a necessity and develop a flexible perspective. Otherwise, problems in marriage are inevitable.
I would like to end my article with these words.
“Spouses should be like two sides of a pair of scissors. They should be able to cut out all the negativity that comes in the way.”
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