Doing Evil to a Child by Doing Good to Him

The biggest factor in the child's personality formation is families. The child faces the task of creating an identity through his family in order to exist in life. At this point; This personality is kneaded and blended by the family, together with the child's innate characteristics, and a new personality is built.
. Many families come with similar troubles. "My child tries to get what he wants by crying, gets angry when we don't get what he wants, doesn't talk to us, locks himself in his room, and starts fights when he doesn't get what he wants." They express their complaints with expressions like.
. In fact, parents play a major role in the formation and perpetuation of these behaviors in children. A child can exist with certain schemes in his struggle with life. Families' reward and punishment systems are decisive in this.
. Children have certain requests. For example, he wants to buy toys every time he goes out. When her family tells her she can't get it, she starts crying. This is where parents' own psychological processes come into play. Parents who see a reflection of their own childhood in their children cannot bear to see their children experience the pain they experienced in their own childhood, and they actually satisfy their own needs by always satisfying their children's desires. Apart from meeting the child's needs in a balanced way, he cannot prevent the child's wishes by drawing clear boundaries and fulfills the child's wishes every time. HE IS DOING HER A FAVOR
. Exactly in this sequence of behavior, stereotypes are formed in the child's mind: "IF I CRY, I GET WHAT I WANT, IF I GET OFFENDED AT THEM, THEY WILL HAVE TO BUY ME THAT TOY, BUT IF I FIGHT, I WILL GET WHAT I WANT."
. Stereotyped schemas can then continue into these children's adulthood. For example; He solves his problems with his girlfriend only by 'fighting'. When he can't get what he wants, he tries to get attention by getting angry with people, withdrawing his love from them, and makes them do what he says.
. In such problems, psychoeducation for families (setting limits for the child, determining the child's options, what needs to be done to motivate the child to positive behavior) is of great importance. In addition, the fact that parental attitudes are largely at the source of the problems, It may require individuals to go through a psychotherapy process.

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