Reward and punishment, introduced by the behaviorist school, have been an issue that has been discussed
for years in children.
Rewards given to the child after the behavior in order to repeat the desired behavior in children are reinforcers that increase the probability of that behavior occurring.
/> If the child behaves undesirably, that behavior is tried to be extinguished with punishments. According to this school
, if we approve of the other child's behavior, we reinforce it with rewards; if we do not approve it and want to eliminate it, we punish it.
In this model, the child codes the reactions he receives for each behavior in his mind and matches the behavior-reaction for a while. Then he starts to think like "If I do this, I can get this, but if I do this, I might get hurt or upset." It is as if he creates equations based on the reactions given and uses them against everyone
throughout his life.
What has been discussed here for years is not the giving of rewards or punishments, but who gives them and at what intervals
. Behavior that is approved and accepted for the mother can sometimes be unacceptable behavior for the father. In such cases, when faced with behavior that the mother rewards and the father disapproves of, the child prefers not to take responsibility for the behavior and becomes an externally controlled child.
However, the behavior is the result of a mental process that requires taking responsibility.
What am I doing?
/> What were the consequences when I did this before?
What would be the possible consequences if I exhibited this behavior? In order to gain foresight,
give the child ideas on how to do it, not what to do.
When the child performs an undesirable behavior, you need to carefully analyze "whose problem is this"
. If the child's studying irregularly in his room is a motivating factor for him, this is not a problem for him
. However, if you enter the room and embrace this disorder as a problem and then give him/her certain commands to organize it, you will become the external focus of control for the child.
When the disorder in that room will disturb the child without warning, that's when the child
It's okay to question his behavior It will remain in control and will make certain decisions regarding the order
under its own control. It is inevitable that successful individuals are individuals who are internally controlled and take responsibility for their behavior with self-control.
Children are mental illusions that absorb the behavior of their parents.
If the mother and father exhibit the achievements they want in the child in their daily lives and
If they become social model figures, the child will already exhibit that behavior in his natural development process.
However, telling a child "don't do" something that you have done yourself is a situation that causes mental confusion in the child.
Although it is said that "schizophrenia is not made, it is born", what we call "schizophregenic
mothers", that is, mothers who constantly give opposite reactions to the child, can cause the child to become schizophrenic in the future
as an environmental factor. To explain this with an example;
If the reactions given to the child when no one is around and the reactions given when there are others in the environment
are different, this may cause the child to exhibit fear, anxiety, indecision and avoidance of taking responsibility
towards the behavior. It will happen. For example, when a child is in an environment where no one is around; If a mother says, "Don't give it to anyone, fill your stomach thoroughly" while putting a sandwich in her lunchbox, this mother responds by saying, "Son, give some to your friend, why don't you share?" when there are guests around.
/> It can be called "schizophregenic mother." What is reinforced by giving reactions such as "Can you find a solution?", "What else could you do?" should be the child's thinking and idea generation process, not the behavior
.
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