It is natural for a preschool child to have fears. First of all, anxiety is a natural state that helps us cope with new experiences and protect ourselves from danger.
Some 3-4 year old children are afraid of things such as insects, dogs, darkness, clowns, and some are afraid of new situations and meeting new people. they are afraid. Such fears continue throughout the preschool period because children's unlimited imagination causes them to worry about issues such as creatures, health, death, disaster and pain. Being hurt is one of the most common fears. For this reason, they require tape to be applied to the slightest cut or scratch.
Around the age of 5, they begin to be afraid of animals and natural disasters such as fire, storms and earthquakes. Fears of darkness and being left at home continue. The images of crime, violence, war and disaster they watch on television also cause anxiety. 5-year-olds also worry about the health of their loved ones if there has been an illness, accident, or death in the family in the recent past. A shy or introverted child may also be afraid of meeting strange people, entering crowded environments, or social activities such as a birthday party. In many children, fears disappear as the child feels safe in himself and his environment.
What Should You Do?
First of all, accept that he has a fear. His fears may seem ridiculous and unrealistic, but for him these fears are extremely real and serious. Don't laugh when he tells you that he is scared and that there is something in his room or under his bed. Ask what the fear or thing it fears looks like and what it feels like. Once you clear his doubts and reassure him, he will learn that fear is natural. Fears do not disappear when we ignore them, on the contrary, it is necessary to talk about it. Trying to convince him that there is nothing to fear will only backfire. For example, telling a child who is afraid of dogs "there is nothing to be afraid of" will make him/her more upset and worried. Instead, say “I understand that the dog scared you. Now let's walk past it together. If you don't want to do this, I will hug you until you pass us." Saying this will relieve him/her.
Your child's fear stems from anger or anxiety about a new situation (such as starting school, having a new person come to school). If you think he is angry, you can help him express his feelings with dramatization games.
Use his favorite objects. Some children feel more comfortable when they have their favorite objects, such as pillows and toys, with them. These toys are important to relieve the child's anxiety when he is dropped off at school or put to bed. These objects also make it easier for the child to overcome situations that create fear in the child, such as meeting new people, joining a play group, or going to the doctor. For this reason, it is necessary to allow him to carry the object he loves with him. Don't say this is "baby".
Some children can overcome this when given a realistic and simple explanation about the object/event that scares them. To the boy who was afraid of getting lost in the crowd, he said, “As long as you stand next to me and hold my hand, we won't lose each other. When you say "If we accidentally get separated from each other, stay where you are, I'll find you," this will help reduce his fear.
If the fear stems from previous experiences such as getting an injection/vaccination, never lie to him about it, and don't paint a very bad picture. Just say that it might hurt a little when the needle first goes in, that it won't last long, and that you'll do something fun together after it's over.
Find the solution to the problem together. For example, if he is afraid of the dark, put a night lamp in his room. You can use different tactics for night fears, such as placing a favorite toy next to it, spraying “monster spray” in the room (put water in a spray bottle, the child should not know that the content of the bottle is water). Don't expect him to overcome his fears right away. This can sometimes take months or even years.
Play dramatization games. If he is afraid of the doctor, play with the doctor set and show him what is done there. If he is afraid of costumes, wear different clothes together and paint your face.
Don't show your fear. When he sees that you are afraid, he will also be afraid of the same objects or situations. You said you were afraid to go to the dentist as a child, but you went to the dentist and you had healthy teeth. You can say that. In this way, your child will feel that he is not alone and will see how to overcome fear.
Reading a book, watching a show, or experiencing that situation about what he is afraid of is also useful. For example, if he is afraid of insects, you can watch a documentary together. For fear of the dark, you can paste glowing stars on the ceiling of your room and watch these stars together in the dark room.
Attention!!
If fears start to affect your daily life, for example, you can say that you are afraid of the dark. If your dog refuses to lie down or refuses to leave the house because he is afraid of encountering a dog, be sure to get help from an expert.
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