For centuries, love, respect and trust are our primary needs that have existed in all our interpersonal relationships, especially romantic relationships.
We strive to get these feelings that we visualize in our minds and that we deserve like everyone else, but when we come to the end;
“why did I do these?”,
“why did I subject myself to negative emotions?”,
“however, it happened to a friend of mine and I gave him very good suggestions, But
When it happened to me, you may find yourself saying, "I could never implement these things."
So what is holding you back from what you deserve?
SCHEMAS.
Schemes drag you into impossible relationships. and as a result of the injuries you have received, you find yourself avoiding.
How Does? We know from the movie Issız Adam; With the thought "What is the need for a relationship? I'm not a relationship person"... or because it's hard to live in the city you live in by leaving all your work aside in the hope that the pain you're experiencing will go away.
and never getting out of bed.
You can try to avoid such a mistake by deceiving yourself into coping by making the decision to break your entire routine and move, that is, by thinking that breaking away behavior is a solution in order to protect yourself from pain.
Schemas can make you a person you are not in order to be accepted in a relationship; I have to be the way he likes
I try to get approval so that he doesn't reject me, I work hard to avoid being abandoned
I push myself to be perfect, so that he/she is happy first
sacrifices yourself, bows down by saying yes to everything so that no problems arise, leaves all your decisions to the other party, becomes dependent, experiences emotional deprivation by saying, "What do my needs matter?"
They make you feel flawed by saying "What can I do?"
All of the reasons we mentioned are SCHEMAS; They are formed due to the negative experiences you experienced in childhood.
There are many reasons for their formation, from parents to
environmental factors and your temperament.
Schema chemistry i; where your needs are ignored, you feel lonely, it does not contain positive emotions, you want to break up but a part of you is a creditor,
you force yourself to stay in the relationship by holding on to emotions,“ I can neither leave nor
strong>These are the relationships in which you say "I can stay".
Loveis; It exists in relationships where you can feel mutual positive emotions, care about your needs,
experience respect, love and trust, and do not feel owed.
Let's think about it this way, your life is It's your puzzleand when you see that your missing pieces in that puzzle are in someone else's
your schemas become active and even though you don't want it deep down, you find yourself pursuing that relationship, you get so worried about it. In order not to lose the puzzle
you put your hand in your pocket and actually failed to notice the missing puzzle piece that you have had and been sitting there for years
.
If we look at it from another perspective; You have a desire for love, but you keep waiting for the fruit of love from a garden that has no seed of love
.
The hurt child inside you feels so tired that he neither notices the love in the next yard nor the puzzle piece in his pocket..
So how do you do this? ?
Schemas may change, it is not too late for this. With therapy support, you can reach the emotions and experiences you deserve
If you want, you can have a specialist accompany you. Let me
That's enough.
Wishing you to get rid of the hindering schemas and reach the feelings you deserve.
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