Developing a sense of responsibility in children is a goal that every parent desires and wants to achieve. So, are we taking the right steps to achieve this goal?
Parents think that the first step in developing a sense of responsibility is to get their children used to helping with daily tasks. Helping to set the table, emptying the trash can, helping to sort the dishes is important, but it may not have a positive effect on developing the sense of responsibility.
The most important thing to consider is that responsibility can only develop from within, it cannot be internalized through insistence and rules.
>In order to achieve this, it is necessary to look at the concept of responsibility within a broader framework.
When you think of a responsible child, the first thing that comes to your mind may be a child who has tidied his room and finished his homework on time. However, if these actions are not internalized and within the rules and habits, your child may still make "irresponsible" decisions.
So what should be done?
The first step is always to be understood and accept the feelings. This title is also the most important in terms of the sense of responsibility. Children whose feelings are accepted, who are tried to understand without criticizing what they say, even if what they say seems ridiculous to the parent, and who are truly listened to, take the first step necessary for a sense of responsibility.
When they experience a negative situation or when it does not meet your expectationstrying to be an 'adviser' rather than criticizing is the next step. For example; You baked a cake to surprise your children, and instead of dividing it, your oldest child took a very large slice for herself and left tiny pieces for her siblings. Your first reaction should be 'you should divide this cake into 3 equal parts' instead of 'how selfish you are'.
The next thing to be careful about is not to get into a power struggle with the children. The energy and time we spend getting our children to do something we want is much more valuable. Moreover, even if what we want comes true, our children may become more ambitious and rebellious in order to respond and get them to do what they say next time.
The child's "right to choose" should not be interfered with in cases within the child's area of responsibility. At this point with the parent Children's and children's areas of responsibility should not be confused. Otherwise, you may encounter a situation where children rule and parents remain completely puppets. It should not be forgotten that in situations that fall within the area of responsibility of the parents, the child always has the right to express his/her opinions, even if he/she does not have the right to choose.
Some of the practical suggestions that can be made are as follows:
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Deciding on his/her food. Ask him to give it to you. Do you want to eat boiled eggs or fried eggs in the morning? Here, as a parent, do not forget to set the boundaries and leave the decision to the child.
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Let your child express his/her own opinion and express what he/she wants in places such as cafes, parks, restaurants.
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Ask your child to choose clothes among the samples you chose at the store.
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Parents; It should be stated that, starting from the first grade, homework is only between the child and the teacher. If parents take responsibility for homework, control it against the child's wishes, insist on it, and stay in charge of it, homework continues as a process between the school and the parent.
The most important thing is to remember that our children imitate what we do, not what we say. Instead of countless reminders saying "read a book", it is enough to pick up a book, get away from television and other social media tools and say "it's time to read a book". Being impartial, not criticizing, setting an example and accepting unconditionally are the keys to happy children above all else…
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