Just as social teachings shape us in every aspect, they have also introduced the concept of 'shame' into our lives in child sexual education. Of course, we set rules and limits in order to teach children certain limits, which is very important and necessary in child education. However, this is another issue, it is different from the concept of 'shame' that society teaches us in the article you read. Here we must emphasize that the concept of 'shame' is harmful, especially in child sexual education. Instead of providing 'disgraceful sexual education', which has been passed down from generation to generation for many years and has become a part of our culture, you can use other methods that are more beneficial to mental health. You should do this for your child's safety and mental health. Today, we know that one of the main reasons for sexuality-related problems (including vaginismus and sexual abuse) can be caused by incorrect sexual education.
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First of all, we should know that sexual education varies according to each age.
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Therefore, we should know that each age has different sexual behaviors and that this is a natural phase of development. For example, in the first two years, the child may not know that his body and private parts are special. For this reason, he may want to walk around naked. You should read scientific sources where you can learn detailed information about such natural development processes.
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Without going into too detailed information, you should make short, clear and realistic explanations that answer the questions your child asks. For example, if a two-year-old child asks what his genital organ is, his question should be answered by saying the real name of his genital organ, instead of saying it is shameful or avoiding the question. Gender distinction becomes evident in children around the age of three and questions regarding this may arise. When explaining gender differences, explaining physical differences may be sufficient. When giving these trainings, be careful not to detail gender roles. For example, giving information such as men are stronger may cause sexism. An eight-year-old child who questions how he was born can be told that the baby grows in the womb until it is ready for birth, and when it is old enough, it is born. Before puberty, It would be appropriate to give information about what may happen during adolescence. In this way, you will mentally prepare your child for the changes in adolescence. The child will need different levels of information at each developmental stage. Accordingly, similar examples can be multiplied.
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A child who cannot get enough information from you on sexual matters may want to use resources such as television and the internet to satisfy his curiosity. Support him/her to obtain accurate, reliable and age-appropriate information on this subject. Allow them to research reliable sources.
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To protect your child from sexual abuse;
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To help them know their own bodies. You should support them and approach them with explanation.
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Explain that children's bodies and especially their private parts are special to them and that no one should touch them. Explain that if someone tries to touch him, he must inform the people he trusts.
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If the child does not want other people or a relative to touch or kiss his body, respect the child. Do not force your child to kiss or force him to kiss because of social teachings that 'it is shameful'. Your child may say no, this is a very healthy way of setting limits.
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When you have difficulty with the subject, get support from experts.
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