Anger is a necessary emotion as long as we can cope with it, and children can use anger as a defense mechanism. Anger, which is an emotion such as sadness, fear, surprise, and joy, develops spontaneously and causes some natural reactions. It is common for children to experience reactions such as reddening of the face, beating of the heart, trembling of the voice, and crying crises in young children, sometimes with anger. p>
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1-2 year old children may express this angrily because their language of expression is not developed enough. They want to be able to explain and be understood more.
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The age range of 2-6 is a period when both the family is needed and the autonomy is desired. During this period, children need a lot of approval and they may have serious tantrums in order to get their families to do what they want and to accept them.
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In addition to all these, traumatic events, general situations such as impulsivity, punishment, need for love experienced by children with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder can also cause anger problems.
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Many of the obstacles that cause a child's anger may seem meaningless to a young or mature person. The child, who cannot get what he wants or is prevented from playing, may shout, shout and kick out of anger. This may be meaningless for adults. However, in childhood and adolescence, getting angry in the face of certain obstacles plays a reinforcing and constructive role in terms of protecting the personality, gaining dignity and maintaining this dignity.
Well, how does this anger turn into aggression? Aggression is the expression of anger. If the individual enters into unnecessary goals and expectations without defining his own reality, he may exhibit aggressive behavior towards individuals and objects that he or she considers to be an obstacle to them, when these are not realized. While Freud defines aggression; First of all, it is innate, has a common meaning for all living things, does not change with learning, He explained it as a universal instinct for everyone and accepted that it was connected to the sexual instinct. Aggression is a normal reaction in young children, and it is an expression of emotions and events that they cannot cope with in their daily life. It is the emergence of the child's needs in a different way by changing shape. We can explain aggression as the result of individual injury in another form. The child may express this injury with the aim of causing tantrums, screaming, hitting his peers, hitting family members, breaking things, spitting, kicking.
What Should Families Do in the Face of Their Children's Anger Crises?
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First, the family should know that their child is a role model and that children are a reflection of their parents. They should be aware that parents who are prone to anger control and aggression will transfer these attitudes to their children very easily.
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You should give permission to your child in moments of anger and make it a priority to listen to his needs. Blaming him will only exacerbate the moment of anger. While your child is experiencing anger outbursts, control your own emotions and avoid anger outbursts.
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Parents should initiate a good follow-up process to find out the root cause of anger. In which situation, where and how often anger arises should be especially followed by families.
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In times of crisis, families; It would be more appropriate not to do what is requested by the child. If the desired is done, the child will learn that his problems will be solved in this way, so he will try to solve all his problems and reinforce this behavior. For this reason, from a young age, parents should be careful not to fulfill every wish of their children. They need to explain to their children that their request is not normal and cannot be made during a crisis. For example, since it will be more difficult for your child in the younger age group to accept this verbally than to adolescents, it would be a better way to try to explain the situation to your child by going down to their height and eye level.
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Families summarize the solution about the issue They can leave it to a child or adolescent, especially during adolescence. When an ideal solution cannot be reached; If children and adolescents have serious difficulties in coping with this process, a common solution can be sought. Although various methods have been tried, children and adolescents who harm themselves or their environment in long-lasting tantrums should be supported by a specialist.
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