Every person needs to establish close emotional bonds. Attachment to the person we love
makes the person feel happy, peaceful and self-confident.
Love involves identifying with the other person, idealizing him/her, that is, turning from being oneself to being one's lover
. Life begins to be seen through the eyes of his love, not his own
. And one day, there will be a separation for a reason.
How do we feel after the separation?
This separation is not actually about the other person, but about the things we devoted our whole self to and lost our self.
What we count is from ourselves. This is why we suffer from intense love pain. There are many types of love, but the pain of love is experienced the most by people who are afraid of losing their loved ones at any moment, who are afraid of losing their loved ones at any moment, who think about them more than themselves, and who are so desperate to make all kinds of sacrifices for them. There are reasons dating back to childhood why the pain of love is experienced so intensely in some people.
In the beginning, the mind cannot accept the separation!
Babies; When they are separated from their mothers for a certain period of time, they show a series of emotional reactions. The first is the reaction of crying, calling the mother, and resisting the calming efforts of others. The second response is helplessness and involves remaining passive and openly upset. The third is called rupture. This response includes ignoring and avoiding the mother when she returns. We can also see similarities in this pattern in infancy when we look at the reactions after separation from the loved one in adulthood. In fact, the parties are mourning the ending of the relationship. The feeling of denial that the relationship is over causes that person to constantly feel, think, and even wonder. His mind has not been able to accept the separation, and then an intense anger begins about his departure. This anger sometimes affects himself "because he feels so weak that he cannot bear being without her" and sometimes it is directed towards the other person because he leaves her and "leaves him helpless". When we look at the nature of love, we see features similar to the nature of obsession disease, such as the mind being constantly preoccupied with the same thing and this preoccupation causing pain...
We are suffering from the pain of love. Can we get over it?
Of course... Remembering the reason why the relationship ended, making a profit-loss analysis of the results if the relationship continues, showing the correctness of the decision he made, setting new goals for the future, getting together with the friends he neglected during the relationship. Returning to activities you previously enjoyed, exploring new hobbies and interests provides psychosocial support. >
Avoiding looking is the result of not accepting the situation and identifying those objects and places with the beloved. However, those places existed before they left, what we call photographs are actually just pieces of paper, gifts are just objects, not the lover who left.
Therefore, the routine should not be disrupted and should be continued so that acceptance and desensitization become more /p>
make it quick. The ex-lover is never forgotten (unless there is memory loss), but the feeling of pain can be eliminated by desensitization to pain.
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