The fear of being deceived is one of the issues I encounter every day in my practical professional life, and I would like to start with a sentence that I love very much; “Trust your relationship, not your spouse.” Leaving a good person is often easier than abandoning a good relationship. Your spouse or you may be great as a person, but if your marriage pattern and history are problematic, your spouse or It will be harder for you to trust yourself. Reducing the fear of cheating can be possible with a good marriage analysis and reducing the risks. Ideally, you should get a short consultancy, but the following risk factors will give you an idea.
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If you are in the role of your partner's mother or father, or if you act like their child and do not have lover energy, you are at risk. Compassion is not enough!!
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If you have serious sexual problems or incompatibility and do not get help, you are at risk.
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Very different families and if you come from marriage models and impose your own model on your partner and do not compromise, you are at risk.
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If you are at different levels of personal development and resistant to developing together, you are at risk.
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If you can't have me in the we and you overwhelm each other, you are at risk. Remember, a partner who is centered and does not act dependent is always perceived as more attractive. Constantly attacking your spouse, trying to control him, trying to do everything together; It may end with the intervention of a third person.
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If you have a bad marriage and family repertoire related to the past (first 6 years) and have a fear of intimacy or a problem showing interest, you are at risk. .
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If you do not have common interests, ideologies and are looking at different aspects of the future, you are at risk.
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You or your spouse are only interested in marriage. If you view it as a sacred, monotonous institution and look for movement and excitement outside, you are at risk.
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If you cannot compromise between the boundaries of the nuclear family and the large family culture, you are at risk.
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If environmental stress factors (material, spiritual, health-related) are intense and reflected at home, you are at risk.
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You are one of the spouses. If you have a serious psychiatric problem (chronic depression, bipolar disorder, narcissistic personality*, addiction, etc.), you are at serious risk.
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If the nuclear family boundaries are too permeable to other relatives, you are at risk.
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If you have watched your parents cheat on you, the possibility of similar events in your marriage may increase.
If you have a few of these risk factors and If you think you can't change it, getting a few sessions from a marriage counselor or marriage therapist will improve your relationship and therefore you can trust each other more.
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