Sexuality is a phenomenon that is biologically and socially constructed and reflects cultural and religious beliefs.
Parents constantly postpone talking about this issue with their children because they are ashamed of talking to them.
Children, on the other hand, have all their innocence and With their naivety, they ask questions to learn and satisfy their curiosity. Most parents are caught off guard by these questions, and these unexpected questions create anxiety. Anxiety also increases the chances of making mistakes.
Parents teach children how to interpret sensory stimuli and what words to use to describe their experiences. The baby who cries and laughs when his toes or belly is tickled gives the same reaction when his genitals are touched. The baby has not yet learned that this part of his body is a sexual area. Because they do not have the sexual concepts and thoughts that adults have in their minds. For the child, this is any part of the body that gives pleasurable responses. It is important how parents react to these areas and how they define them. So, sexuality for children is different than it is for adults.
Sexual education in general; These are informative and awareness-raising activities aimed at monitoring the physical, emotional, social, mental and sexual development of children and adolescents, helping them accept the roles of boys and girls, and living in harmony with the characteristics of their own gender and the characteristics of the opposite gender.
Sexual education is a long process that starts from birth and includes adolescence. Sexual education given by both mothers and fathers will prevent children and adolescents from turning to other sources.
Although there is no specific age to start sexual education, parents should give their children the first education when they are in pre-school period (around 3-4 years old). They encounter questions.
If the explanations are made in plain language, comfortably, without shame, and by using scientific sources, there will be no possible difficulties in the future.
Parents should teach the child to distinguish between good and bad touch, and provide appropriate sexual touch. They should determine the limits of behavior and equip the child with correct sexual knowledge.
The child growing up in a democratic family environment Children are less likely to have problems during sexual development. They can easily ask whatever they are curious about and get appropriate answers. Because of their self-confidence and because they can easily express what they want and what they don't want, they are less likely to be sexually harassed. Because they can prevent it. Since they do not experience any emotional hunger, it is not possible for them to take advantage of themselves in this sense. They can easily establish healthy girlfriend/boyfriend communication.
The process of finding a sexual identity for a male adolescent who can talk to his father during adolescence, who is accepted and not humiliated by him, and who spends quality time with father and son since his childhood, will go through a healthy process of finding his sexual identity.
Similarly, when a daughter can talk to her mother without any fear or the need to lie, when she can get all the information she is curious about from her mother, she will not be equipped with wrong information, she will know her limits and will be able to have a healthy sexuality in the future, at peace with her own sexual identity.
The most important message in sexual education to be given to young people is that sexuality is not only a physical relationship between men and women, but also an emotional relationship based on love and respect.
What is Sexual Abuse? How should I protect my child?
Sexual abuse is the exposure of a child or adult to unwanted sexual behavior by another child/children or other adult/adults. Sexual abuse is generally committed by people close to the child. When such actions are repeated, they may have more severe consequences for the child.
Pinching, caressing, squeezing, kissing, groping, talking, disturbing with inappropriate words, attempting sexual intercourse, rape are within the scope of sexual abuse. . Damage caused by abuse; It varies depending on its continuity, the age of the child, the closeness of the abuser to the child, the degree of commitment and age difference, the involvement of physical force and violence, and the degree of abusive behavior.
Regardless of the degree of sexual abuse, it should not be forgotten that no one is exposed to sexual abuse. does not want to stay; no one deserves sexual abuse; No behavior constitutes sexual abuse, harassment or rape. and any kind of sexual abuse is a crime before the law and society.
What should I do to protect my child from sexual abuse?
- As a parent, sexual abuse You must be knowledgeable and conscious about abuse
- You must show sufficient attention and affection to your child, and make him/her feel your trust and love.
- You must establish open communication with the child and ensure that he/she is not afraid of you, so that he/she can easily explain possible approaches to you
- When loving a child, the way to show love is not by touching, pinching or biting. Children who are loved like this make the judgment that the way to show love is to "touch". This causes them to be unable to distinguish between abuse and showing love.
- They should be taught not to kiss strangers, not to let them get too close to them, and what suspicious behavior is.
- The skill of saying no should be taught. A child who cannot say no in daily life may not be able to show the skill of saying “NO” in such a situation.
- “ No one has the right to touch your private parts. No one has the right to make you touch their private parts. If someone asks you to touch their private parts or touches yours, it's not a secret to keep. Even if you promised not to tell, even if you were told that very bad things would happen to you if you told, you should tell if something like this happens. You should definitely say it. It's true that you should keep secrets. But this is a bad secret that should not be kept.”
My child is a teenager; What should I do to prevent him from being sexually abused?
You should talk to your child as a friend, openly and clearly about the following issues...
- The young person should know his own sexual desires and problems. .
- He must be able to clearly say no when faced with a situation he does not like.
- He must know that his emotions, behavior and words must be in harmony in order not to be misunderstood.
- He must be able to go to a place where he cannot go and return on his own. He should not go accompanied by someone he does not know well.
- If he is underage, he should not go to a disco, bar, etc. should not go to places, should not take drinks and food from others.
- Alcohol and drugs interfere with healthy thinking and self-control. He/she should stay away from these as they may prevent expression.
- He/she should not allow his/her friend to be a guide.
- He/she should definitely report persistent abusive behavior to his/her relatives.
- Sexual abuse (assault, rape) , etc.) should immediately share this situation with a relative who can understand, support and help him/her.
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