Margaret Nichols, 40 years old, lives in New York. Motherhood is her biggest dream and she starts preparing from the first day to hold her baby in her arms with natural birth. A pool system is being established for home birth. When the birthday comes, the process begins at home with his midwife and wife. After about 30 hours of pain, she could not stand the pain anymore, so she went to the hospital, received epidural analgesia, and gave birth to her baby naturally. Even though she holds her baby in good health, she feels like a failure because she couldn't give birth at home as she planned. On top of that, when breast milk becomes insufficient and she starts giving formula to her baby, she becomes depressed with deep inadequacy and regret.
Based on the story of Margaret Nichols, who appeared on the cover of a magazine, this tells the emotional terror experienced by mothers around pregnancy and birth. article.
How is the perception of perfection formed in expectant mothers?
This perception is created by both the expectant mother and her environment. When I look at today's women, I see that they are very ambitious, goal-oriented and combative. This structure inevitably turns motherhood and baby care into a goal, casting a shadow over the times that should actually be spent with pleasure.
How do the legendary birth stories of the old reflect on new mothers?
Our elders are very valuable to us. First of all, they are very experienced and there is no doubt that these experiences light the way for new mothers, but sometimes serious conflicts can occur. One of the most obvious examples of these conflicts is the mode of birth. They state that they do not always take folic acid because they gave birth under different and mostly unfavorable conditions, and that they give birth in the field or at home. However, there is a fact: In today's births, mother-baby deaths and birth rates of disabled babies have decreased significantly.
Why is the method of birth so important?
All the attention of pregnant women is focused on the method of birth. . In fact, this can sometimes even cast a shadow over the pregnancy and prevent the mother from experiencing the unique moments of pregnancy to the fullest. If everything is fine, there is no situation that would endanger the health of the mother and baby, and the expectant mother is enthusiastic about it, natural birth can be considered. m should be considered. However, if the conditions are opposite, cesarean section is not a bad option either.
The perception that "the woman's body is completely planned for natural birth" is common. Why?
Our friends, elders and all those around us who have given birth naturally create this perception. While the woman's body is planned for natural birth, those who cannot give birth are considered to have failed to prove their strength. This is absolutely not true. Unfortunately, the conditions of every mother and baby may not be the same or equal. Therefore, natural birth should not be made a target. The main goal should be to have a healthy birth for mother and baby.
How should we prepare for birth?
Books will of course help, but the special relationship between parents and the child is related to books. It makes the situation at home different. In an environment where there is so much information pollution and misinformation, if the right resources can be accessed, a very good foundation can be created. What is read should be properly mixed with the experience gained, and common sense and logic should not be deviated from. If you accept that motherhood is a bit of trial and error and love your mistakes, you can be a good parent.
What advice do you have for new mothers?
I always say the same thing to mothers who have just given birth. I say; “The hardest day is the first day. "Everything will be much easier in the following days." The first days are difficult due to the inexperience of the first birth, the stress of birth, and mothers' fear of making mistakes. Over time, the mother gets used to the baby, and as everything gets better, the panic and error rates decrease. These situations almost never occur in the second and third children. It is acceptable for mothers to panic and feel inadequate at first. However, if this situation persists, there may be some underlying psychological conditions. Serious depression may develop after birth. Psychological support should be sought in such cases.
You are also a mother and you have two children. Could you share your experiences with us?
I can say that I struggled a lot after birth, too. I am an obstetrician and my wife is a pediatrician, but no matter how prepared we thought we were, in some cases it was not so. We said we would never give bottles or pacifiers, but 3 days later everything changed. Resist crying crises more We gave him a pacifier. I said I would definitely not get him used to the bottle, so I gave him the expressed milk with a bottle because I started working when my baby was very young. We went through all these tests until we raised our children, and I realized that theory and practice may not always match.
BOX: As a gynecologist and obstetrician, I always say the same thing to mothers who have just given birth or are about to give birth; “There is no perfect mother. Perfect is the enemy of the good.”
Read: 0
