Children and anger.. For some, these two can never come together, for others, it is an inextricable situation.
Anger is one of the most important emotions in life. Anger is a protective emotion for human mental health. When a person is angry, hormonal changes occur in his body. These changes push the person to protect himself. For this reason, anger is not always a bad emotion as we perceive it. It is a precious feeling that should be especially for children.
While we adults get angry at many things during the day, when children get angry, we feel like there is a big problem. Sometimes we may even think that children have no right to be angry. All the emotions we feel are also present in children's internal processes. In fact, the emotions experienced by children are more intense than ours.
Children often cannot be aware of their emotions and cannot make sense of them. The emotions children feel are reflected in their bodies and they respond bodily. You hear them say, "Something is going on inside of me" in response to all their feelings. Children's feelings that they cannot understand make them nervous and angry.
Anger is not always experienced as a single emotion. Especially for children, anger is the feeling of tension as a result of not making sense of the emotions experienced and expressing it. Anger is the easiest emotion to express for children. Anger can easily come out while other emotions create turmoil inside. For this reason, when children get angry, there may be other emotions underlying them. It is necessary to listen carefully to an angry child. What does she feel? What's happening? Is it really just a feeling of anger? Or is it the expression of different emotions with anger?
What Should We Do When Children Get Angry?
- First of all, we should know and accept that children have the right to be angry. It is important to remember that many of the children's emotions arise because we adults do not offer them emotional and physical space.
- What makes the child angry? We really have to think about it and wonder.
- Is what she's experiencing really anger? Or are there other emotions underlying it?
- It should not be forgotten that anger is a protective emotion. safe Children who don't feel e get angry. Does my child feel safe enough?
- Expressing that his or her feelings are understood. When children feel understood, they calm down. “I know you are angry, this incident made you very angry” etc. Projections of emotion make the child feel understood.
- Allowing the emotion to drain. Children discharge their emotions by talking and acting. Hitting, kicking etc. That's why they turn to such actions. It's important to offer him physical space to drain his emotions. It's like kicking a pillow.
- It's important to be physically present when children struggle with their emotions. To send him to his room, to punish him, to make a video of him crying out of anger is to leave the child alone. It is important to drop everything and embrace that feeling with the child.
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