My mother went to the neighbor's, my father is at work, and my brother is at school, but I think my real loneliness is that I feel that no one loves me. What I remember about those years was that my mother was a tough woman and my father's presence at home was almost non-existent for me and my brother. My family prioritized my school success above all else, insisting that they had nothing to give me if I failed, yet they were not interested in why I did not want to go to school from time to time. However, I had failed the oral exam in class several times and felt humiliated by my teacher's sarcastic words. Now I knew. My teacher didn't like me either... These days, when I'm approaching the age of 30, memories come to my mind when I get hopeful every time my girlfriend, whom I broke up with a year ago, calls me, and realize how unlovable and worthless I feel again with every meeting.
I'm in the middle of darkness. However, I cannot stop my lover, to whom I have sacrificed a lot to be loved, from criticizing me mercilessly. I'm afraid of being alone. Just like little me...
I am not loved...
It is the most beautiful form of love "unconditional love"... One of the most basic examples of this is the love of a mother for her child. So what does it mean to love unconditionally? It is the name of making the other person feel accepted by deeming them worthy of respect and love, regardless of who and what they are or what they do. “I love you because you do what I want…” is an example of conditional love. When it is unconditional, love means giving without receiving... It is not dependent on certain conditions and conditions and is the matured form of love.
The individual who receives such love forms a healthy self-structure, answers the question of who am I with awareness and has the basic belief that I am loved. With self-awareness, one learns to love more maturely. In other words, the individual who receives mature love learns to love maturely. From time to time, individuals may think that they will lose some things from themselves while loving the other person.However, love protects individuality by pushing aside separation and loneliness.While protecting individuality, it ensures integration with the other. When you love the other person, you add something of yourself to them. Even what you added � you like it. This shows us that love can be improved. Love can be developed, it is not passive. When enough care is taken, its power towards the beloved being can be increased. In other words, the power of love also depends on the form of care shown by the individual. If care is not taken, it will disappear. However, being able to love a being requires being able to love oneself. If an individual does not love and value himself enough, he may not know how to love the other person. He thinks he loves, but this is an immature form of love. Being able to love a person also requires taking responsibility. In this way, the individual takes responsibility for the person he loves and tries to respond to his emotional needs with his heart. Every person wants to love and be loved. Our main goal is to get rid of the feeling of loneliness and integrate with others. Although the way to achieve this is basically to receive unconditional love, if you were deprived of unconditional love in your childhood, do not forget that experiencing the true form of love first comes from knowing yourself as an individual. Even if you build emotional walls for yourself, the part of your brain that needs love will never be silent throughout your life. He will always present his needs to you in different ways. Listen to your need for love instead of coping with it. Don't be afraid to love because it will bring you success. If you love maturely, you will be loved maturely.
To Nuriye Farah Özer…
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