Discipline can be called the authority that parents try to establish over the child. In fact, discipline should be thought of as teaching the child the desired behaviors and habits instead of the undesirable ones. Direct intervention to undesirable behavior in the child may have bad consequences. Therefore, the route in this situation is to explain the wrongness of the behavior that is wanted to be changed, to be consistent, determined and stable, and to direct the child to the desired behavior in this sense. Discipline also plays a big role in the child's developmental stages. It is not a correct method to use punishment to gain discipline in a child. The important thing is to determine the needs and desires of the child according to his development, and then start to investigate the reasons behind his behavior. In addition, one of the duties of the parent is to be a model for the child. “One good deed is more effective than all the kind words in the world.” (Andrev Marvell).
According to Yavuzer, a preschool child may forget to hang up his sweater, or a primary school child may not want to wear his hat that day. In such cases, the parent or teacher has the opportunity to be flexible. Because in some situations, being flexible and showing tolerance is perceived as love by children. In this way, it gives the child the logic of why he should be respectful towards others.
When asking the child to perform a behavior we want, that is, when trying to discipline the child, we must first clearly explain the reason for whatever we want.
Shouting or punishing the child makes things more difficult instead of easier. Because the child who cannot understand what he is doing will begin to respond aggressively to the sanctions against him. For this reason, the attitude that the family should adopt in child education should be in a structure that explains to the child the reason for a desired or undesirable behavior and gives the child the opportunity to explain what he did and why and to correct it.
When communicating with the child;
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Listening actively (participating)
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Talking to the person on the same level by making eye contact
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Feelings are business to express
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To understand how much something is wanted or not
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Approval expressions indicating that you understand and listen (ya, hmm, right) to use
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To cooperate (to show that you are with him rather than against him)
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To describe and explain the situation or event. Giving information
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To summarize in one word (explaining the desired things in one word and with minimal repetition)
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Not asking too many questions
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Not making comparisons
Home Rules and Their Importance!
Children need rules and limits during their development period. Every child needs to know the rules and limits. Preschool period; With his developing perception, the child begins to explore and learn his surroundings. The important thing is not that there are many rules and they become mandatory. It means learning why the rules are created and why they should be followed. Because he will encounter rules throughout his life and will have to obey them. The younger a child is, the more advantageous the parents have. Because it is more difficult to change habitual or stereotyped behaviors. The child is in a constant state of learning, and learning continues at all ages and periods. What needs to be done to protect the child and ensure order in his daily life is to set rules and teach boundaries.
Rules should be determined according to the child's age and needs. It can also be created together with the child by ensuring the child's participation. Clear and simple language should be used when explaining the rule to the child. Children may not accept some rules very quickly and may resist them. In this case, the way to follow is to be patient and determined. Otherwise, the child who cannot see consistency may ignore you as well. After determining the rules together, you can hang them in a common place and remind them when necessary. In addition to the individual consistency of the parents, it is also important for the spouses to be consistent among themselves. If one parent says yes to a situation and the other parent takes the opposite approach, the child becomes confused and often makes requests. The party that does it will be attracted. If the child refuses to obey any rules, it is important to warn him to comply at first and pay attention to the tone of voice and the position with him. If it continues despite being warned, the method of giving time to think can be used. For this purpose, a chair or thinking mat can be used in the room. Applying verbal or behavioral violence does not solve the problem; it makes him afraid of you and pushes him away. He should show him the consequences of events if he continues to disobey the rules.
It is important for children to give them the opportunity to achieve something on their own. It helps develop self-confidence, but doing whatever you want after a while will cause you to be socially shaken and disappointed when you go out into the outside world.
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