What was love, love was labor, yes, love was labor, love is one of the most valuable concepts that makes our lives valuable and connects us to life. It is a feeling like respect that makes us valuable and makes our life even more valuable. When we look at the basis of love, we can see loving and being loved. Can we exchange some emotions in our relationships? Does one party love while the other party does not, or is there a mutual bond of love? When we look at the point that activates and directs these emotions we experience, we can see attachment models. What are these attachment models? It is the expression of the individual's attitudes towards another person as anxious, avoidant and secure. The relationship we establish with our mother during our infancy and childhood constitutes our attachment model. When we look at attachment models, they are divided into three groups: secure attachment, anxious attachment and avoidant attachment.
Secure Attachment
According to the secure attachment model; Being warm and loving comes naturally to them. In relationships, they establish closeness without worry and anxiety. Romance and relationship issues don't easily demoralize them. They can easily express their feelings and wishes to their partners. They understand the partner's emotional messages and can easily respond. They share your successes and problems with you and are there for you when you need them.
Anxious attachment
According to the anxious attachment model; We like to be close to our partner and even be as close as possible, but on the other hand, we create question marks such as what if my partner does not want to be as close as I am to him or if he does not love me. And such thoughts consume a lot of our emotional energy. You feel like your partner's different behaviors are caused by you and that's why you are negatively affected. During the relationship, you experience feelings and morale that will make you feel bad. In this case, in order to react, you say things that you will regret later. When your partner gives you assurance and comfort, your anxiety decreases and you feel satisfied.
Avoidant Attachment
According to the avoidant attachment model; own independence It is very important to be self-sufficient. For this reason, they do not like to be disturbed and stay away from close relationships. In relationships, they mostly want to keep the distance at arm's length. They don't think much about romantic relationships or rejection. They do not talk much about private matters to their partners and do not want their boundaries to be violated in relationships.
In our relationships; When we look at the problems we experience, the meanings we attribute to them and the basis of many misconceptions, we know a lot about ourselves and our partners and become slaves to wrong attitudes. For this reason, by getting to know our own and our partner's attachment attitudes in our relationships, we can discover what a safe and satisfying relationship actually looks like.
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