Every age has its own problems. When we think of human life, the preschool period forms the basis of other periods. Children's behavior is shaped by the attitudes of their parents. Parents teach children many behaviors as models.
Preschool institutions are places that teach rules, provide social skills, and monitor behavior after parents. The teacher and psychologist at school observe the child's behavior. They examine whether a problem they observe is age specific or an emotional-behavioral problem. Problems known as age characteristics are tried to be solved by providing families with correct information and suggestions. There are many problem behaviors that parents cannot cope with. This month, we will discuss 10 problem behaviors that preschool parents have difficulty coping with.
He objects to everything...
Stubbornness is normal in both stages of life. One is the preschool period and the other is the adolescence period. The message given to the family during the preschool period; “I am a separate person from you, I can make my own wishes, I am free.” Preschool children are trying to assert their existence. They make decisions and want to implement these decisions with their behavior. He is also in the family. They also want what he says to be valid. When these are not present, the situation turns the other way around and stubbornness begins. “No” becomes his word. He doesn't like hearing the word no from you. If the parents also start to become stubborn, things become a mess. Remember, no parent who is stubborn with their child has ever been victorious.
Listen to your child's objections and try to understand them. Don't always answer "no" to things he objects to. Try saying no without saying no. Instead of “No, you can't eat chocolate,” say, “Would you play with me or watch that cartoon instead of eating ice cream?” etc. The important thing is not to be stubborn with the child. If you have established a relationship of stubbornness, your child will continue this behavior and the behavior will become permanent. Even if the period of stubbornness passes, it will remain a form of communication.
I can't feed myself…
This is the most common problem experienced by preschool parents. “I don't eat r”, “he always wants me to feed him”, “he always eats pasta and meatballs”, “he eats it at school but not at home” While the eating problem was not seen in the older generations, it has become a problem today. When children have a physiological problem, they may of course experience some problems.
The basis of children's eating habits is formed in infancy. During the 0-1 year old period, children's sense of pleasure is in their mouth. During this period, they try to get to know the world through their mouths and begin to try the tastes of foods. They put everything given to them into their mouth. Sometimes they want to eat and sometimes they don't want to eat. Some negative attitudes towards eating habits during this period also affect their habits in the future. For example; During infancy, attitudes such as trying to force the child to open his mouth or inserting the spoon by force negatively affect the child's eating habits.
Children show picky eating behavior during the 2.5-year-old period. During this process, children of stubborn and forceful mothers develop eating problems. Children usually win the battle of not eating. A mother; She was explaining that she starved her child for 4 days, yet he did not eat, drank only water, and eventually vomited water. The only mistake she made was that the child was stubborn in return for her stubbornness.
The main eating problems in the preschool period are eating in front of the television, cooking meals that the child will eat, not setting the family table, having the mother feed him, feeding junk food, giving rewards or punishments after meals, dominance of maternal feelings, and the relationship between parents. Different attitudes, wrong attitudes such as the child eating when he wants, cooking in the middle of the night because the child asks for it, etc.
You must have food rules in your family. Meal rules need to be set, such as eating all together at the table, everyone eating their own meal, if not eaten at this meal, it will not be eaten until the next meal, no junk food before or between meals, and no eating in front of the television. At the table, everyone is interested in their own food, and the child is not constantly warned to "eat, eat, eat". The meal is over and the table is cleared. When the child is hungry, food is not given because he does not eat at mealtime. Most parents who followed these suggestions gave positive feedback. These are. If there is serious resistance to eating and there is no improvement despite following these suggestions, you should definitely get support from an expert and examine it in depth.
Remember, in pre-school institutions, your children eat meals on their own and finish them on time, even with their friends, even the meals they never eat at home. Because attitudes at school are clear, open, there are limits and rules. Set rules, be clear, control your emotions and don't be stubborn.
Choosing clothes is a problem…
“My child wears winter clothes in summer and summer clothes in winter”, “He cannot choose clothes and we are always late for school”, “Never Sentences like "He doesn't wear what I chose" or "I'm afraid he'll get sick" must sound familiar to you. As someone who works in pre-school institutions; It is one of the most common problems I hear from our parents.
Clothing selection gives children the habit of making their own decisions. Clothing selection syndrome, which usually starts at the age of 3-4, has many benefits such as recognizing the child's own gender and acting accordingly.
Let your child choose clothes. Never get into a fight over clothes. Leave his choices to him. Can wear winter in summer and summer in winter. Let him experience the natural consequences of his behavior. When he/she does not want to wear clothes while taking him to school, wrap him in a blanket, hug him and take him to school. Put his clothes next to him. This is a situation we experience very often at school. Don't think that you will be called anything negative because of this. Because after coming to school, children do not want to enter the classroom in pajamas and ask the teacher to change their clothes immediately. He does not continue the conflict he has with his mother at home at school. For a child who goes to school wearing boots in the summer, it would be a natural and effective learning for a friend to tell him "You are wearing the wrong winter shoes" when he gets to school. You just manage not to pass on your emotions to the child and control them.
It's very quiet…
I often hear these sentences from families; “He's very quiet”, “He doesn't make any noise”, “He doesn't join in with his peers”, “He's always stuck to me in social situations”, “He never says good morning to the neighbours”, “He cries or makes no noise at the school play” “it does” etc. Every child's temperament and structure are different. Accept the fact that every child is unique. Do not give your child "be like this, don't be like that" messages. Accept it as it is. Your child may also have a quiet temperament. Think of a line, with the left side pointing inward and the right side pointing outward. Don't imagine a child who is close to the left side of the line being on the right side. Of course, with the right attitudes, your child can approach the right side of the line, especially in preschool institutions. Some families have expectations from their children that they cannot fulfill. Be sure to send your child to a pre-school institution and ensure that he/she is in an environment where he/she can be with his or her peers. Be a model for him, have your friends come to your home, be a social family as much as possible.
The type of family you are also affects your child's development. Give your child responsibilities. Don't speak for him. Let him not talk if he doesn't want to. Let him decide not to talk. Don't insist that he talk. Don't blame. Don't label him as "quiet, shy." Remember, your prophecies about your child will come true one day. If you say "this child cannot become a man", yes, he will not become a man in the future and your prophecy will come true.
She doesn't shut up when she cries...
Sentences such as "Everyone looks at us when she cries", "The whole apartment echoes", "We are embarrassed in the shopping mall" are different. These are sentences that bother you if you say them, but do not contribute to your child's development. “What will all the world say?” There have been many times when we felt hesitant and said, "Let's take it this time so that it stays quiet." When you start to live according to the world, your child may take the opportunity to cry more or behave negatively in front of them. Because he realized that what he wanted could be achieved more easily in those environments. Once a child learns that he gets something by crying, he uses it as a weapon. It becomes a situation that leaves parents helpless.
So, what do we do? First of all, you need to create a change in your attitudes. Remember the fact that children may cry. People may stare, you may be shy at first, just hug them and make them feel safe. If he doesn't want you to hug him, or if he kicks you, try to get away from the environment or make him cry. Enduring it can be effective. If he is causing a scene, my advice to you is to return home immediately and make him experience the natural consequences of his behavior. If you continue this behavior a few times, he may understand that you are determined and that he cannot get anything done by crying. The important thing is that you be determined and patient in this process.
He wants to take everything…
Children are not born knowing their limits. Parents are the ones who will teach boundaries or rules. Children want to have everything, they cannot choose between two things. Because they did not learn to control their impulses at a young age. As they get older, they can control their impulses. In addition, if you teach your child some basic rules, your life will be easier. Boundaries are a process that protects the child and teaches him where to stand. There is a fine line between raising your child freely and raising your child by setting limits. Every child tests boundaries. With your determined stance against these trials and not giving up, you learn and internalize the limits. If you have a child who wants to take everything and causes a scene otherwise, there is probably a problem with setting boundaries. How to set limits?
Have ground rules in your home. Basic rules that vary according to each family should be set, such as eating at the table, collecting toys, buying toys twice a month, playing with the tablet at specified times, and going to bed at 09.00 in the evening. Rules should be age appropriate and few. If you give 10 rules to a 3-year-old child, he will be confused and will not be able to comply. When you give feedback for not following the rules, he/she will feel inadequate and unsuccessful. 3-4 rules should be set for preschool children.
If your child, who obeys many rules at school, does not obey any rules at home, there is probably something wrong. Once the rules are set, they must be followed. Your child may want toys every time you go to the mall. If you buy unlimited toys every time you go, your child will not learn to control his impulses. If you buy two things before buying a toy or anything else, you should talk to and encourage him/her to leave without buying one thing sometimes and only looking at the toys at other times. Tell him that if he cries or causes trouble, you'll come home.
Read: 0
