“My wife and I have been married for 6 years, I want everything to be the same as before we got married, but no matter what I do, nothing is the same as before, I am very helpless.”
“My wife does not show the same attention to me as before.”
“My wife and I used to have a great time, since the children were born we are like two strangers who only share the same house.”
“My wife completely forgot about me after the children were born, her entire focus became the children.”
“I am very afraid of finding the attention I do not receive from my spouse outside and not being able to prevent it.”
When we look at relationship problems in marriage, it is seen that the main problems for both men and women are the problems mentioned above. If you are experiencing such problems in your marriage, I recommend you to read this article.
The concept of relationship is based on the concepts of love and affection. We first like the opposite sex physically, then as we get to know them, we start to fall in love. It is almost impossible to disrespect someone we love because we do not want to offend, upset or hurt them. One of the biggest mistakes made today is to confuse the concepts of love and affection. We can love anything and anyone; We love our mother, our father, our friend, our cat, our dog... In fact, we love them so much that most of us have used the phrase "I love them more than my own life" several times in our lives. But love is a much different feeling. We constantly think about the person we love, we always want to be with them, we feel like the most unhappy person in the world when we can't be together, it is such a strong feeling that, when necessary, we lose sight of even the people we say we love very much. In a way, as it is always said, we become blind, our eyes cannot see the world. We always experience both happiness and unhappiness at the highest level. But love is such a complex feeling that, when necessary, one can be happy even when unhappy. If he can cope with the complexity of love, eventually the decision to marry is made and they get married. We are now the happiest people in the world because the person we love will always be with us. We started to live life to the fullest and freely with him, but as time passed, we got used to being with him. When people are constantly exposed to something beautiful, they become accustomed to its beauty and We no longer start to notice the beauty. From this point on, we start to notice the flaws. Once we start noticing the flaws, we see that nothing is the same anymore. We talk less now, and maybe even find ourselves reading a book in another room while he watches TV in a separate room. While we are looking for a way out, the idea of a child comes to our mind. We think that the child will do everything as before. We think it will trigger the feeling of love like before. One of the biggest mistakes is trying to fix our broken relationship with the child. Because when our focus has already changed from each other, we completely break it off with the child. For this reason, we should never try to fix our deteriorating relationship with the child.
Research shows that the most important factor in the increase in divorces today is that couples completely distance themselves from each other after the child is born. For this reason, we should first review our relationship, and if we can overcome our problems on both sides, then we should decide to have children. It should not be forgotten that having a child, rather than saving the relationship, drags the relationships of people who have problems in their relationships into a dead end.
Another point that should not be forgotten is that the feeling of love is temporary, but the feeling of love is permanent. We can love our spouse very much, we can value them very much, we can have a lot of fun and quality time, but if we think about experiencing the feeling of love and excitement in the first days and go in search of this, the probability of being disappointed increases greatly. We should not forget that the most important feature of keeping the relationship alive is to keep our behaviors different and exciting as when we are experiencing the feeling of love.
If you are experiencing the problems mentioned in this article and you want to save your relationship, you should consult a specialist without delay and get help.
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