Paulo Coelho summarized everything beautifully when he said, "When you say 'yes' to others, you should make sure you don't say 'no' to yourself." Even though you work hard, you don't get appreciated, you put other people's work on your shoulders as well as your own, you can't say no to avoid hurting others even if you don't want it, things don't go the way you want even though you want everything to be perfect, no one notices you while you make so many sacrifices and want to get approval from the workplace and be noticed. Is it?
Saying the word no is very difficult for many people. Some people are forced to say yes to many situations during the day that they would like to say no to, either because they think they will be misunderstood or because of the fear of losing, being rejected, criticized, or disapproved. When this situation occurs at work, things become a little more difficult and sometimes it becomes inextricable. Workplaces are places where people can both improve themselves and find financial satisfaction. Not being able to say no to your colleagues, boss or people working under you causes many problems. The main reason for this is the lack of boundaries. It is the individual's inability to set clear boundaries and taking on the responsibilities of others even though he has no obligations.
Saying "yes" to everyone can be an indicator of low self-confidence and dependent personality structure. In addition, having to say yes to things you don't want makes you more tense and tired, and can also cause an increase in stress level and a higher workload because they do extra work even though it is not their responsibility. People who say "yes" even though they don't want to may sometimes feel angry at the other party, but it should not be forgotten that the underlying emotion of anger is actually anger towards oneself. In addition, stress, anxiety and depressive symptoms may increase in people who constantly have to say yes.
What are the ways to say No at Work?
First of all, your boundaries should be clear with your colleagues.
Do not take on the responsibilities of others. Assuming that you have a certain amount of time to work, do you want to focus on your own work or on other people's work so as not to offend them? Do you want to separate?
Remember that just as saying yes is an option, saying no is also an option.
Do not hesitate to say no to tasks that are not your responsibility. It should not be forgotten that when you do other people's work, you not only help them, but also prevent the other person from taking their own responsibilities. In addition, while completing the other party's deficiencies, you may be disrupting your own work or causing you to spend long hours.
Most importantly, you need to determine your own limits. You need to know how much work you will do, in what time and when, and regulate your own limits.
Remember that you cannot change the other party, you only have the power to change within yourself. Therefore, focus on your own change instead of waiting for the other party to understand you, notice you or change.
Do not be afraid of being exposed to criticism. When you say no, focus on the feelings you experienced in an argument or criticism, perhaps you experienced this event again in a different place. Do not avoid confronting your own emotions.
Remind yourself what you are giving up every time you unintentionally say yes.
Saying no determines the value of neither you nor the other party, it just shows that you do not want to do that event. When you reject the desired job, remember and remind yourself that you are rejecting that job, not the person. If you are having trouble saying no and cannot get out of the situation, it would be beneficial to get professional support for the underlying reasons and solve your problem.
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