“…even though it is difficult, it seems like we should take responsibility and ease some of the blame off our work lives and other stressors, what do you think? Let this be the subject of another article. “We said last time…
First of all, it should start withYOU. I don't know who you are, your name. Where you are from, what your type is, how old you are, what your social status is... It doesn't concern me either. But all I know, dear
You are worthy of having the Self-Actualization need at the top level of Maslow's pyramid.
Maslow listed our needs as follows, where one need cannot be moved on to another without being met.
Now, the first 2 conditions in this pyramid already exist in each of us. You can easily read this article right now. With the 3rd condition, some difficulties begin.
- On the way to the last requirement, some people stutter on the way, some cough, some sneeze and try to move forward in some way... right?
- So what is the road that crashes our way? those who arrange the stones?
We call these “Cognitive Distortions”.
- Of course, these are not the only reasons, but I will list the facts in a moment. Isn't external evaluations a good topic to start with?
All or Thought: However, life consists of gray and shades of gray instead of black and white. But sometimes we make it difficult when we praise perfectionism with this thought. If the photo you took did not make it to the homepage“I am a useless photographer!” Even Even if you have nice shots that achieved similar success before…
Mental Filter:
- Doesn't focusing on the negative details of the events tire you out? For example, you are browsing photos on site X. Maybe someone made an unnecessary and inappropriate comment on a shot. “Everyone has become such an artist. These are always like this. People don't like anything. Now if I upload it, no one will rate my photo!”
Overgeneralization:
- The clouds were very helpful that day. right?
- Don't you feel lucky in terms of models?
- Or is it like this every day of shooting?
- “Every time I go out to shoot, they find me?
- What an unlucky person I am! There is no better shot of me in life!” Are you saying?
- Now close your eyes again and think about how many of the 30 shoots you took had a few mishaps?
Write it down day by day and read it out loud. Read it and experience the unbearable lightness of confronting your distorted cognition.
Labeling: Think of overgeneralization making your life more difficult, here's labeling. “There won't be a good shot from me in life! I'm a clumsy quickie!”
Magnification and Minimization: This is to enlarge the parts of you that you think are flawed and minimize your positive aspects. “What have I done! I'm ruined! How can I take the photo in this light and with this aperture!” or “So what if I captured a good shot, the skill is in the lens!”… Unhappiness, unhappiness come to our lap…
''- should, -should'' sentences: With these suffixes, you are not motivated, on the contrary, you feel unhappy, angry and reluctant. “I need to process all the photos I took tonight. In fact, I should add it to the site immediately, before all the photographers in the group.”
- Isn't it tiring?
Overriding the Positive: Let's say you opened an exhibition. You worked hard, you made an effort, and you called and presented your photographs to such and such people, on such and such a place, on such and such a day. When I heard the positive comments from the guests, I said, "Ugh... They're actually trying to be polite." I'm sure they like it Bend over!”…
- Sound familiar?
- Isn't it such a tiring and destructive knowledge?
Mind Reading:We are at the same exhibition opening. Let's say one of the guests is standing in a corner, looking out the window, lost in thought. “I bored the people who came. I have opened such a boring exhibition that the man says it would be better to watch outside instead of traveling!” hmmm, maybe he's lost in thought because of a phone call he received, which he is, but you are so convinced of your own thoughts that you ruin your whole day and your exhibition opening without even bothering to research.
Fortune Telling: As they say, don't believe in fortune telling and don't stay without it, this is not one of them, it is a painful form of cognitive distortion. The man who was wandering outside at the exhibition, he had an argument with his girlfriend on the phone. But what is even worse is the fortune-telling he is doing,“Our relationship will never get better from now on. There's no way I can bring him back. I'm sure of that!” Even though it is unrealistic, he believes this and has already fallen into despair.
Personalization: You take responsibility for a negative event without any logical explanation and without basing it on any basis. The result is a huge feeling of guilt. “If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be shooting here and he would take better shots. I'm not a good shooting buddy. It's all my fault!” However, what others do is their responsibility, not yours.
We can see examples of cognitive distortion in most of the people who seem difficult or in most of the tiring lives. The first step is to become aware of them.
And,
Dear reader, even if you go to the best therapist in the world and use the most wonderful medicine in the world; If you deny the pathway to your insight, you will not get any results. First of all, Y must want to develop, to embark on the path to development.
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