Unknown things are scary. Being separated from parents creates fear in children, especially at a young age. Parents unknowingly create fears in their children. In order to prevent her child from misbehaving, the mother tries to scare him by saying "If you misbehave, I will leave you" or "I will give you to a beggar". The most unbearable fear for children is being separated from their parents. Fears are abundant between the ages of 4 and 6.
Children believe that the things their parents or elders make up to keep them well-behaved are real. Adults use fear as a tool of discipline. Parents or adults scare the child who misbehaves or does not sleep, saying "revenge will come". But this is an easy way. Because the child who hears this immediately becomes silent. In fact, intimidation has more sanctioning power than beating. Parents have a hard time, especially when children who are intimidated by the doctor get sick. Intimidating a child who does not eat by saying "I will give him medicine now" creates insurmountable problems when he needs to take medicine. For example, children who are frightened by the injection needle or the nurse become very afraid and react when they are about to be vaccinated. Another fear that creates problems is the fear of circumcisers.
The children of parents who are afraid of the smallest thing, panic, and lose their self-confidence are similar to them. Sometimes the mother restricts and hinders the child, and adopts an overprotective and protective attitude, thinking that "they will fall down", "they will get sick", "they will get beaten". It makes the child believe that the environment and people are dangerous. The child becomes clumsy and wimpy because he is overprotected.
Sometimes, intimidation occurs by involving God: Words like "God will punish you" create more fear in the child because he does not know how to visualize God in his mind.
There are also fears that depend on the situation. For example, situations such as a burglar breaking into the house or the child having an accident create fear situations in the child. In such cases, the child's fear should be listened to and taken seriously. Help should be sought from a child psychologist so that the mother can give up her overly protective and caring attitude.
NIGHT FEARS
Children between the ages of 4-6 have scary dreams. In such cases, the child is the mother He comes to your father's room and wants to sleep with them. In this case, it is harmful to scold the child or get angry. It would be appropriate to take the child to his room and stay with him until he falls asleep, try to calm him down and explain that what he sees is not real.
If the child has witnessed the parents' sexual intercourse, he may interpret this as his mother being attacked. Because of this incident, she wants to sleep with her mother either to protect her mother or to prevent this incident from happening again. The child does not want to fall asleep, or the child who has witnessed big fights between his parents develops a thought such as "If I sleep, they will fight again, I cannot prevent it." In such cases, it is appropriate not to get angry with the child, but to lie next to him until he falls asleep, and to act calmly and affectionately.
FEAR OF SCHOOL
This problem may arise when the child starts primary school, or may occur in any part of the school. It can also be seen at some time. It is even seen in children starting kindergarten. The child clings to the mother, does not want to let her go, cries, and the mother sits next to the child in the classroom for days because she wants the mother to stay with her.
Or the child suddenly does not want to go to school; If he is forced, he becomes nauseous, vomits, and resists pressure. He comes back from the road or from school. He becomes unhappy, his sleep is disturbed, his appetite is lost. He has no interest in homework. It produces a somatic symptom every morning. For example, he/she may have a headache, stomach ache or nausea, a fever, or even vomiting. It is comfortable at home. In severe cases, the child is restless even at home. The source of this is usually the fear of separation from the mother. Children with school phobia are generally well-behaved, quiet, harmonious, and extremely dependent on their mothers. In such cases, beatings and intimidations do not yield results. This fear can also be seen in middle school and high school.
Parents should not keep children who show fear of school away from school. The longer you stay at home, the more difficult it becomes to return to school. Parents should try to act decisively and consistently. The situation should be explained to the teacher and cooperation should be ensured. Even if the child does not enter the classroom, he must go to school and walk around the garden. The child's fear should be taken seriously. Taking it to school is half the solution. If it does not improve in a few days, you should see a psychologist without delay
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